Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Pepsi Super Squeezer!
If I cared about looking like a junior butch bitch in the 1980s, all I had to do was carry around a Pepsi Super Squeezer, which around my parts, was the MUST-HAVE (not really) accessory at every sporting event. If I saw someone carrying one of those things around, I figured they were a star athlete. And if I saw someone carrying it around and they told me it was water that they froze the night before because they need an ice cold refreshment to cool them down after practice, I figured they were on their way to the fucking Olympics.
From what I know, you could really only get a Pepsi Super Squeezer at a gas station, or possibly the fine drinkware section of a Macy’s. And many people filled their Super Squeezer with everything but Pepsi, pretty much. And AND I bet that the diabetes-chasers of today who get a 32 gallon cup filled with Coke at 7-Eleven for breakfast every day are looking at the Super Squeezer like, “Is that a small size for toddlers?!” And and AND I bet that the snobby bitches who carry around an amethyst crystal water bottle from Goop are looking at the Super Squeezer like, “Damn, you people in the 80s were fancy!”
Pic: eBay
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Cat’s Eye!
The other day, my brain nearly malfunctioned (well, nearly malfunctioned more than usual, okay?) when I tried to remember an extremely annoying game that I played at a friend’s house back in olden times. The only thing I remembered is that it involved marbles, and it’s partly the reason why today I say, “The fuck did you just say?”, several times a day, because it cost me some hearing. It was louder than an anal cat orgy in an echo chamber. So it’s fitting that the mess of a game was called Cat’s Eye.
Night Crumbs
Christopher Meloni left Law & Order: SVU almost 10 years ago, and today we’ve learned that his character Elliot Stabler will be back in a spin-off series that got a 13-episode order from NBC. If you’ll excuse me, I have to run off to Google and type in, “Does cooze cream kill corona?“, because if it does, we’ll all be saved from the millions of women busting out a crotch geyser over this news – Just Jared
I, for one, am happy for Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas’ daily pap walks, because it allows me to get in some cardio. Yes, eye rolling counts as cardio – Lainey Gossip
Princess Beatrice and that dude she wants to marry may postpone their wedding until 2021, but I think it’d be more realistic if they postpone it to 20NeverGonnaHappen – Celebitchy
Open Post: Hosted By Steve Carell And John Krasinski’s Social Distancing “Office” Reunion
Two sexy hot daddies, Steve Carell and John Krasinski, remotely reunited in honor of The Office’s fifteenth anniversary. Cue all the bros on Tinder immediately splooshing their pajama jeans (seriously, half those online dating dudes exclusively speak in Office quotes, the other half list their “Employer” as “Dunder Mifflin” #YaBasic).
The reunion consisted of Steve and John giggling about good times and reminiscing about their favorite Office moments. Unlike those feuding d-bags on Will & Grace, that cast genuinely seems to like one another.
Open Post: Hosted By The News That Shit Is Getting REAL Real
Did you know about the Waffle House Index? It’s a legitimate measurement of a disaster, because come hell or high water, Waffle House stays open. The 24-hour restaurant chain has been open during hurricanes! So if Waffle House is closed, shit has hit the fan big time. And it has, because they have temporarily closed 365 stores due to coronavirus.
Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Wildlife Treasury!
Sure, looking up animals on Google takes a millisecond and instantly fills your brain with all sorts of facts and pictures, but it has NOTHING on the magic that would instantly fill the air when you opened up the plastic green treasure chest known as The Wildlife Treasury. The Wildlife Treasury is and always will be the authority on the animal kingdom. Well, the authority on the animal kingdom after Brian Fellow, of course.