Did you know about the Waffle House Index? It’s a legitimate measurement of a disaster, because come hell or high water, Waffle House stays open. The 24-hour restaurant chain has been open during hurricanes! So if Waffle House is closed, shit has hit the fan big time. And it has, because they have temporarily closed 365 stores due to coronavirus.
ABC News says that Waffle House was doing its best with the coronavirus pandemic. An employee tested positive in Georgia for COVID-19 earlier this month. A few weeks ago, the real WH gave a statement saying that they were trying to keep corona at bay and protect everyone in their restaurants:
What a difference a few weeks makes, because 365 restaurants are closed, while 1,627 are open for takeout. They tweeted the news and mentioned the Waffle House Index.
— Waffle House (@WaffleHouse) March 24, 2020
The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) uses Waffle House as “role models in disaster preparedness.” In a 2012 blogpost, FEMA’s Dan Stoneking, Director of Eternal Affairs, wrote (via ABC News):
“If a Waffle House store is open and offering a full menu, the index is green. If it is open but serving from a limited menu, it’s yellow. When the location has been forced to close, the index is red. Because Waffle House is well-prepared for disasters… it’s rare for the index to hit red.”
Well that shit has hit red. He said the Index “also tells us how the larger community is faring.”
Coronavirus is taking down Waffle House?! That’s beyond too far. Hopefully things turn around and we can return to simpler times when the only thing threatening to interrupt your meal at Waffle House was a fight breaking out