Barbie’s extremely elegant silver ‘Vette!

It’s been much, much too long since there’s been a Barbie-themed HSOTD around these parts, so I’m making up for it by paying homage to a fixture of subtle 80s glamour. Nothing could take the breath away from an 80s girl or gay like the luminous sight of Crystal Barbie riding up in a demurely classic silver Corvette. I suffered from asthma as a child, so my mom probably thought I was having some kind of attack. But I was just gay-gasping from looking at luxury in motion.

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Luisa Zissman is a British TV presenter and entrepreneur known for her appearances on The Apprentice (UK) and Celebrity Big Brother. She’s also a horse girl and was absolutely heartbroken when she had to put down her white stallion Madrono in December 2019. The poor guy was suffering from cancer. Google says most dead horses are buried, but Luisa couldn’t bear to say goodbye to her best buddy. So she decided to get him stuffed. And after eighteen months of painstaking (extremely expensive) work by taxidermist Simon “The Stuffa” Wilson, deceased Madrona has reunited with his human.  Continue reading

Mark your calendars — An ominous date is nigh. On May 4th, Yahoo! Answers, that lawless digital milieu will go dark. According to The Verge, after 16 years of hosting one of the internet’s most egalitarian sources of hilarity and confusion, Verizon Media Group, which now owns Yahoo!, has decided to pull the plug, thus extinguishing the light of knowledge before we ever get a coherent answer to the question “how is babby formed?” Sorry, kavya. You’re on your own, kiddo.

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Well, looks like I’ll be busy all day writing obits for Stanley Tucci, Mark Strong, The Rock, Morris Chestnut, Jason Statham, Sir Patrick Stewart, Kelly Slater, Shemar Moore, Taye Diggs, Bruce Willis, Billy Zane, Boris Kodjoe, Common, Ed Harris, Michael Chiklis, LL Cool J, Corey Stoll, Danny DeVito, and Homer Simpson. Because it seems like they’re dead. Hell,  if you’re a bald man who is reading this right now, guess what? You’re a ghost! It looks like Prince William is the only bald-headed man alive because some new study claims that he is the World’s Sexiest Bald Man. And no, this “study” was not conducted by the University of Trolling and The April Fools’ Day Gazette.

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The Stuck Cargo Ship That Is Currently My Favorite Artiste!

You may have been following the dramatic saga of the cargo ship that’s stuck in the Suez Canal, and if you’re like me, you only know about it because DICK is involved. Sort of. This piece of peen news made me ask myself, “Did I take some Ambien and then sleep-drive to the airport, get on a plane to Egypt, take a helicopter from the airport to some cargo ship, and then kick out the captain and take control so that I could draw dicks in the water?” Because that’s what a cargo ship did before getting stuck, and sure, that dick above is short and busted and those balls should be looked at by a medical professional, but I still would.

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