Category: End Of An Era

Pat Sajak Will Retire From Hosting “Wheel Of Fortune” At The End Of The Upcoming Season

June 13, 2023 / Posted by:

It seems like Pat Sajak has had a wild hair up his ass to leave Wheel of Fortune for a few years now–straight up saying he’d be done soon and lamenting that the show “will not die” and rubbing elbows with that Cro-Magnon queef Marjorie Taylor Greene, tweeting in an I-don’t-give-a-fuckily manner, and being extra shitty to production and contestants. Pat has now finally decided that after 40 years and three daytime Emmy Awards for outstanding game show host, he’ll retire after heading the show since 1981.

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Jenny Craig Is Going Out Of Business

May 4, 2023 / Posted by:

It’s the end of an era. Jenny Craig is shutting down after 40 years in the weight loss/diet culture game. NBC reports that the company has been on the hunt for a buyer for the past two weeks. Then, on Tuesday, employees received an email informing them that Jenny Craig will be closing “due to its inability to secure additional financing.” Hourly employees got the chop immediately, and corporate and salaried field employees’ last day will be tomorrow. The company told employees that they’ll receive their final paycheck, which will include all their unused paid off time, but it’s “highly unlikely” employees will receive severance pay. I hope you’re happy, Ozempic!

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Open Post: Hosted By The Death Of The $1 New York Pizza Slice

March 24, 2023 / Posted by:

It’s the end of an era. The New York dollar slice is dead. Rest in peace, you dirt-cheap, greasy bastard. The New York Post reports that the last remaining $1 pizza joint, 2 Bros. Pizza, was forced to raise their prices to $1.50 to keep up with inflation. Decades from now, you’ll tell your great-great-grandkids, “I remember the days I could get a slice for a buck.” And, because pizza slices in 2083 will cost you at least ¥137 (or 8,100 NFTs) , the kids will assume you’ve gone mad and finally ship your old ass off to Shady Pines…

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“Arthur” Has Been Canceled After 25 Seasons

July 28, 2021 / Posted by:

Shocking news outta PBS (said no one ever)! The legendary kids’ show Arthur has been canceled after 25 seasons. Arthur, based on the books by Marc Brown, debuted in 1996, which makes it the longest-running children’s animated series in America. It’s the winner of four Daytime Emmys for Outstanding Children’s Animated Program, a Peabody Award, and the 2019 episode where Mr. Ratburn gets gay-married was banned in Alabama. That last one just might be the highest honor of all.

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Yahoo! Answers Is Going Offline For Good

April 6, 2021 / Posted by:

Mark your calendars — An ominous date is nigh. On May 4th, Yahoo! Answers, that lawless digital milieu will go dark. According to The Verge, after 16 years of hosting one of the internet’s most egalitarian sources of hilarity and confusion, Verizon Media Group, which now owns Yahoo!, has decided to pull the plug, thus extinguishing the light of knowledge before we ever get a coherent answer to the question “how is babby formed?” Sorry, kavya. You’re on your own, kiddo.

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