The jealous peasants and the anti-monarchy trash media (THE QUEEN’S got your numbers, The Daily Mail and The Sun) have been hating on Duchess Kate and Prince William for being royal lazies who go on vacation more than they work. So, as their hating subjects rise flaming pitchforks into the sky and threaten to storm the palace (that’s what’s happening, right?), Duchess Lazy and Prince It’s Always Nap Time decided now is the best time to take another holiday. If you were Sookeh Stackhouse and had the fairy power of mind-reading, you’d probably hear Duchess Kate and Prince William rapping the lyrics, “Don’t hate me, hate the money I see, clothes that I buy ice that I wear, clothes that I try, close your eyes,” to themselves as they smiled all happy-like for the camera.

Kensington Palace tweeted out a bunch of pictures of Duchess Kate, Prince William, 2-year-old Prince George and 10-month-old Princess Charlotte on a quick family snow trip to the French Alps last Wednesday. They were only there for a few days and are already gone. The Daily Mail says that on past royal ski trips, the British media and photographers were invited to take pictures. But this time, Duchess Kate and Prince William wanted to keep their kids’ first ski trip on the shush. The Daily Mail thinks they took a private jet, and they only brought one photographer, John Stillwell, with them. John took a few completely natural pictures including this one of Duchess Kate throwing a snowball at Prince William, and Prince William looking like Lindsay Lohan during a sneezing fit.

I know, these boring and cheesy ass photo-ops are nothing without a naked Prince Hot Ginge photo bombing them in the background. But then again, he’s probably banned from the French Alps because his ginger hotness would melt the snow and flood the town.

The hating bitches who say that Prince William never works and doesn’t do enough royal “smile and waving” engagements can choke on their words. Because Duchess Kate and Prince William work so hard that they even worked during their vacation. They did hard labor (for the royals) by smiling, picking up snowballs and smiling some more. Bitches better slow down before they burn out. I really hope that after this trip, they went on a vacation where they rested up from their vacation.

Pics: WPA Pool/Getty

Professional Girl(s), author and staunch anti-body shamer, Lena Dunham (no relation to Jeff Dunham. I mention it because I always have to check. I love puppets. So sue me!) went to the hospital last night because of a ruptured ovarian cyst. Lena has talked before about dealing with endometriosis. Lena’s rep released a statement to People yesterday:

“Lena Dunham has been very public with her personal bouts with endometriosis. This morning, she suffered from an ovarian cyst rupture and has been taken to the hospital. Lena will be undergoing surgery at an undisclosed hospital. We thank you for you understanding and hope that Lena’s privacy will be respected.”

In February, Lena went on Instagram to let fans and non-fans alike know that she wouldn’t be doing press for the latest season of Girls because of her condition. The disease is chronic so flare ups are common and like any chronic disease, the sufferer needs to rest their ass.

Hey Beloved Pals, I just wanted to let you know that, while I am so excited for Girls to return on Feb 21, I won’t be out and about doing press for the new season. As many of you know I have endometriosis, a chronic condition that affects approximately 1 in 10 women’s reproductive health. I am currently going through a rough patch with the illness and my body (along with my amazing doctors) let me know, in no uncertain terms, that it’s time to rest. That’s a hard thing to do, but I’m trying, because all I want is to make season 6 of Girls the best one yet. I’m lucky enough to have support and backup from Jenni, Judd and the whole Girls gang. So many women with this disease literally don’t have the option of time off and I won’t take it for granted. Wishing you all health & happiness, in whatever form suits you. Back soon xxLena

A photo posted by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on Feb 8, 2016 at 12:42pm PST

While I’m not a fan of her show, I’m also not a fan of people being sick. Let’s hope she gets better and gets back to work, including hawking Goop’s skincare line on Instagram. Gwyneth needs her!

Pic: Wenn

Get your rice and subscription to sugardaddyforme.com out, because it’s time to celebrate! Texan supermodel and former wife of Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall married 80s movie villain and billionaire, Rupert Murdoch. The two love birds finally tied the knot yesterday in London in a private civil ceremony and then had the church ceremony today at St. Bride’s Church, reports People. Michael gave you the rundown on this fairytale, so for real, totally for love union the other day, but I’ll refresh your alcohol soaked minds.

Jer and Rupes – that’s what I call them. So cute, right? Write it all over your notebooks. – announced back in January that they were engaged after only four months of fancy dinners, in-home nurse assisted intercourse and, I’m sure, Pretty Woman style diamond necklace box finger snapping. Jerry is Rupert’s fourth wife (Wendi Deng 4ever!!!) and Rupert is Jerry’s first official on paper husband. Her marriage to Mick Jagger was declared null and void. Jerry has four kids with Mick and Rupert has six from two previous marriages.

The ceremony was an hour long and included a full choir and their children leading the speeches and celebration of true love ever lasting. Listen, even if my dad was Mick Jagger, I’d be high kicking, cancaning and singing the holy gospel if my mom was marrying a billionaire. Mick is loaded to the gills but Rupert has buy your own country kind of cash coin money dollar.

The bride wore blue (and flats! good for her!) and the groom wore navy. The bridesmaids, Jerry’s daughters, Elizabeth and Georgia Jagger, wore matching light blue dresses that they actually could wear again. Notable guests included frog lookalike Andrew Lloyd Weber, Michael Caine and former editor of The Sun, Rebekah Brooks. The church, St. Bride’s, is referred to as the “journalist’s church” because it’s on Fleet Street, London’s HQ for publishing, so it makes sense Rupes would want his (fourth) special day there considering he IS publishing. The church also has a memorial plaque dedicated to Rupes’s father, Sir Keith Murdoch, so that’s another Precious Moments figurine for you. I really do wish these two crazy kids all the best and happiness. If that dirty money has to go to someone, who better than Jerry Hall?! Hello! She gave us ‘Kept‘!

Check out the gallery for pictures from the day true love was truly defined:

Pics: Wenn

One week ago, former bikini model Cheryl Tiegs pulled out her Dr. Oz Book of “Facts” and slapped at Sports Illustrated for glamorizing unhealthy non-skinnies by putting current bikini model Ashley Graham on the cover of the 2016 Swimsuit Issue. (Cheryl did throw one compliment at Ashley by describing her face as “beautiful, beautiful“, which I guess is Cheryl’s version of “great gowns, beautiful gowns.”) Later she tried to clarify what she meant, which…didn’t really make it sound any better. Now one week later, Ashley is slapping back at Cheryl to E! News. Maybe slapping isn’t the right word; it’s really more of a bored wave, because Ashley doesn’t give a fuck about Cheryl or her armchair diagnosis.

“Cheryl Tiegs may have said what she said and it may have hurt a lot of peoples feelings, but my skin is so thick. I kind of rolled my eyes, I was like, ‘Oh whatever, another one of these ladies.’ But what’s great is that—the fact that she said it—it means that other women think like her. And what that means is that we really need to change the industry. There are too many people thinking they can look at a girl my size and say that we are unhealthy. You can’t, only my doctor can!”

“But first, I’d like to talk to Cheryl about what years of sucking back pack after pack of Virgina Slims have done to her lungs” said Ashley’s doctor.

I do love that Ashley gave an honest answer. When it comes to getting health advice from a lady who looks like she isn’t a stranger to holding up the line at BevMo by demanding they accept her expired 5-cent sale flyer as a coupon, “whatever” truly says it all. But in case that “whatever” wasn’t clear enough for Cheryl, maybe Sports Illustrated could send her a complimentary pack of stick-on googly eyes with a note instructing her to save them for all future covers featuring non-skinny models. That way, the next time she decides to bust out some obesity truth, she can shake the cover, watch their eyes roll, and say, “Okay, I get it. I’ll shut up now.”

Pic: Wenn.com

Here’s the love birds at Vanity Fair’s Oscar party this past Sunday. Jerry’s chichis look magnificent. Being almost-married to a billionaire is doing wonders for them. Although, her chichis do kind of look like twin Rupert Murdoch heads. Why did I go and ruin it by saying that?

Everyone’s faith in pure organic love was restored in January when 59-year-old Jerry Hall and evil billionaire mogul 84-year-old Rupert Murdoch announced that they got engaged after 4 months of being together. We all figured that these two would have one of those long engagements and spend the next couple of years planning their perfect wedding. We also figured that Jerry Hall wouldn’t worry about making it legal right away and would just enjoy Rupert’s body pounding against her before busts a load of cum dust up into her. But these two are in a rush to become husband and wife. Reuters says that Jerry will become Rupert’s fourth wife and Rupert will become Jerry’s first husband at St. Bride’s Church in London this Saturday. They have already invited 150 guests. The marriage service will happen at St. Bride’s and the ceremony will be somewhere else.

“He will be having a service to celebrate the marriage,” Claire Seaton from St Bride’s told Reuters. She said the actual wedding ceremony would take place elsewhere.

If you’re hearing the repeated sound of a cocking of a gun (I said cocking of a gun), because you think this is a SHOT GUN situation (Ha. I wish!), then you’re mistaken. That sound you hear is the sound of a clock ticking away, because Rupert is 84 years old and Jerry is wasting no damn time. The last time Jerry got “married” was to Mick Jagger and the marriage was later declared null and void by the court because their ceremony wasn’t official. So when Jerry gets married to Australian Mr. Burns on Saturday, she better have a team of lawyers and Judge Fucking Judy at her side to make her it’s 100% valid.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

If you’re a commenter and needed a new “outta this post” GIF, here you go.

Some cat was just chilling on the grass, enjoying the day (read: plotting the demise of the humans around) when it sensed danger over yonder. A relaxing scene turned into the opening of West Side Story when two dogs ran after the cat. That cat had two choices: Stay and fight or make like Tyga when he sees his landlord coming to collect rent and flee. Pussy went with the second option. That cat ran, jumped the fence and went all Crouching Tiger, Hidden Pussy (Side note: Yes, I Googled that and yes, a porn with that name exists, because of course).

Now THAT is how you exit a might-get-messy situation.

via Mashable