On the left is a picture of Olivia Munn a year ago. On the right is, get this, Olivia Munn last month. I know, looking at the picture on the right gave me a stage 10 case of the “Harpo Dis Womans,” because I thought it was a completely different person! But seriously, besides the de-drama’d eyebrow situation and her face being SANS freckles, I don’t see much difference between the 2016 picture and the 2015 picture. But 35-year-old Olivia Munn does and she decided to share all the secrets to her different face. The “keeping it real” version of a Hollywood type’s list of beauty secrets looks like this:

1. Botox.

2. More Botox.

3. Face skin reupholstery.

4. Full face lipo.

5. Replaced nose with a smaller one that was grown on a lab house rat.

Olivia Munn did none of that, so says Olivia Munn. She wrote on Instagram about how she is addicted to researching “natural and healthy” ways to make the skin on your face look younger. Olivia posted the side-by-side picture above before spitting up her tips.

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So much for swearing up and down that you’ll keep other people’s children out of your angry Twitter tantrums.

When Kanye West released The Life of Pablo to the world, he probably assumed that people would love it so much that he’d open his front door one morning and find all of humanity gathered together, with joyful tears streaming down their faces, waiting to kiss his ass (or throw in a finger, Kanye’s choice).

Some people did really like it. And some people didn’t. One such person was a music producer named Bob Ezrin. Bob had some things to say about TLOP and Kanye’s kurrent behavior for the Lefsetz Letter (via UsWeekly), and it was pretty much the opposite of what Kanye wanted to read.

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The NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Daytona 500, Central East Florida’s second-classiest annual event (the first being Daytona Beach Bike Week, obviously), happened this weekend. Thanks to Page Six, I learned that there’s always a grand marshal at the Daytona 500. I’m sure they would have loved to get someone who truly embodies the spirit of Daytona Beach, but sadly The Gronk was out of town. Instead, they got Gerard Butler. And shock of all shocks, one of the first things Grand Marshal Butler did was hit on someone.

A source tells Page Six that Horny Gerry was seen working his sexy Scottish game on 22-year-old model Charlotte McKinney (on the left). If that name isn’t ringing a bell, you might know her as Michael calls her: the big-tittied blond model who isn’t Kate Upton. Now, as of December, Charlotte was dating Stephen Dorff. But that didn’t stop Gerard from trying to get her number. Gerard’s boner knows no loyalty!

No word on whether or not he got her number. Since it’s Gerard Butler we’re talking about, it’s safe to assume he probably ended up passed out ass-naked in his hotel room next to someone.

However, that picture of Charlotte in her extremely tasteful white formal romper (too tasteful for a NASCAR event if you ask me) sitting with John Cena and Gerard gives us all the clues we need. The answer to the question “Did Gerard get her number?” is…of course he didn’t! And it’s pretty obvious why. If you’re going to scribble your digits on anyone’s palm, it’s going to belong to that dreamy jorts-wearing bundle of muscles John Cena.

Pic: Getty

Just like with Rihanna’s Grammy performance that never happened because of either bronchitis or a meltdown (Mulder and Scully are still working on that X-File), RiRi’s upcoming Anti Tour isn’t happening. At least not happening when it was supposed to happen. Or where it was supposed to happen.

While RiRi’s tour hasn’t gone full-Iggy Azalea, it is pretty messy. According to E!, the Anti Tour was supposed to start next Friday in San Diego, but it’s been moved to March 12 in Jacksonville, Florida. San Diego isn’t the only city to get the fuckaround: shows in Oakland, San Jose, Houston, Austin, Dallas, Atlanta, Phoenix, and New Orleans have been rescheduled for May. Rihanna’s rep claims that all the shuffling around is because of “production delays.”

Meanwhile across the pond, The Independent says RiRi has flat-out cancelled two shows in Sunderland and Cardiff due to “logistical reasons.” A rep from Sunderland’s Stadium of Light apologized for RiRi’s cancelled show and added: “We still have an exciting summer of events planned at the Stadium of Light however, including the sell-out Beyonce concert, which everyone is looking forward to.” When Emma Thompson described Britain as “grey“, who knew she was referring to the shade.

And it’s not great in the rest of Europe, either. According to B.Z. (and thanks to Google translate), Rihanna’s show in Berlin has been moved from the Olympic Stadium to the smaller Mercedes-Benz Arena. The same thing has also happened in Belgium, where she’ll now be headlining a summer festival instead of playing her own show. And in Vienna, RiRi has been moved from the Ernst Happel Stadium to the smaller Wiener Stadthalle. Wow, that sucks – there’s nothing worse than downgrading to a smaller wiener.

How in the hell did RiRi’s tour get so fucked up? Did Kanye West take over as director of tour operations and scheduling for Tidal? Or maybe that comment about Beyonce is a clue. Beyonce’s Formation tour is happening at the same time. Maybe Tidal is so broke they only have enough money in the budget for Bey’s tour? Sorry RiRi. If you play your cards right, maybe she’ll let you perform a couple songs at her merch table.

Pic: RiRi’s Instagram

Kanye West’s frantic and furious missives from yesterday and last night surely tore the Twitter bird a new asshole. Halfway through another one of his epic digital hissies, you could almost hear that beautiful social media symbol coo “FUCK THIS MESS” and wing off to the nearest barroom or marijuana dispensary.

West took on Media Takeout for not liking his *cringe* Rwandan refugee camp-inspired fashion show/listening party. He sucked Rihanna’s ego hard. He praised former mother-in-law Caitlyn Jenner while posting a pic of him looking incredibly uncomfortable next to her. He Tweeted about what an interstellar genius he is. He Tweeted about what an interstellar genius he is some more. His best boyfriend Ricardo Tisci got some love for the Valentine’s Day bouquet he sent Yeezus. He proclaimed that he’s 53 million in debt. He complimented his dealer on how good the coke was that he was doing to fuel this particular Twitter marathon. I made that last one up. Nevertheless, a lot went down.

Amidst all this, his new record The Life of Pablo went up on Tidal for free. Listen for the Taylor Swift sexual availability boast, stay for the brittle egomania.

Follow the jump for the full rundown but have a stiff drink on hand. It’s a lot of feelings.

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When I Googled “old fossil riding a whore” I thought it would take me to Hugh Hefner and a Bunny. – 38chrysler

Upvote winners (it’s a tie!):

All opposed to a Brokeback Mountain sequel starring Matthew McConaughey say ‘neigh’. – Mother Chucker

Jurassic World Cup – Ikcor

Pic: WREG