Even for a Katt Williams story, there’s a whole hell of a lot to unpack here, so let’s get right to it. TMZ says that Lil’ Suge Knight has been sued by a woman named Jamila Majesty who claims that two years ago Katt ordered a beat down on her after she used his bathroom. Who knew Katt was so territorial about his litter box?

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When we last left the High Priestess of the Illuminati, she was screaming “SEXISM!”, over the media blaming her sad, messy clown and horny, desperate drunk memaw acts on booze. Well, now Madonna is getting balls of flaming shit thrown at her for exposing a 17-year-old nipple to thousands of people and telling the girl, “You can do the same to me…. Do you want to make my hole big again?” while pointing to her crotch. “Um, hey, I was just calling to see if you needed an extra back-up singer for your tour” is probably what R. Kelly said while leaving a message on Madge’s voicemail today.

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Back in July, Rachel McAdams wouldn’t say whether or not she was riding on her True Detective co-star and fellow Canadian person Taylor Kitsch’s maple-dipped long john (or if you want to get really Canadian, letting him dip his “chicken” into her “Chalet sauce“). Around the same time, there were whispers that she was also being wooed by another hot True Detective, Colin Farrell. But reportedly, Rachel still has a thing for non-threatening Canadian hunks. According to Life & Style, Rachel and Taylor are definitely 100% doing it. And it’s happening so often they’re basically living together. Although really, as if we needed to be told; anyone with at least one working eye can see the white-hot sexual chemistry radiating between those two in the picture above.

A source tells Life & Style that Rachel and Taylor (sidenote: Rachel & Taylor totally sounds like the kind of place popular 14-year-old girls shoplift crop tops) are “practically living together” at Taylor’s condo. The source adds that they’re always going to brunch together and the gym together. Well that’s entirely too wholesome. I always pictured Taylor Kitsch as more of a ‘get beer drunk and have sloppy couch sex’ type, but maybe that could be my brain’s refusal to believe he’s not actually Tim Riggins.

The source also says that it’s gotten so serious that Rachel introduced Taylor to her family, and he bonded with her mom. Meeting the parents in regular life is not that big of a deal, but meeting the parents in Hollywood famous people life is huge. That’s basically the code word sequence that UsWeekly requires to pull out their “GETTING MARRIED!” cover template.

On that note, I’m sure the obsessive Notebook fans have started writing fanfic about Ryan Gosling barging into the church, The Graduate-style, on Rachel McAdams’ wedding day, crying “I couldn’t let you marry the low-budget British Columbia version of me“, and whisking her off in a rowboat.

Pic: HBO

With the threat of more Americans moving to Canada, Canada has upped border security. – ZippyOS

Upvote winner:

Bitch better have my honey. – Mother Chucker

Pic: Break

Nannette Hammond, the delicate daisy petal of Cincinnati and mother of 5 who claims that she’s spent $500,000 on plastic surgery to look like her idol Barbie.

This extra toasted and peroxide blossom is just one of the maaaaaaaaany aspiring plastic beauties who shoot their faces up with Mattel-made plastic and have factory-made parts stuffed into their bodies to look like the life-size version of Barbie. Let’s hope that Nannette Hammond doesn’t turn out to be an anti-feminist, child-hating Nazi. She has 5 children so that’d be awkward. 42-year-old Nannette is a stay-at-home mom who lives in a Malibu Dream House that just so happens to be in Cincinnati, Ohio with her rich businessman husband Dave and their 5 kids.

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Pic: Amazon