It’s no secret that Elon Musk wants to build a spaceship and go to Mars. But I’m starting to think it’s not because he’s into space travel, but because he really wants to fuck a martian. This is based solely off his current girlfriend, Grimes, who might just have outed herself as humanity’s closest DNA match to an extra-terrestrial.
HallelujaHUH?! Andrew Garfield And Jessica Chastain Are Playing Jim And Tammy Faye Bakker In A New Biopic
You’re probably rolling your eyes at me like, “Bitch, shut up, Andrew Garfield can totally pull off Tammy Faye.” But sadly, Andrew Garfield is not slapping a pair of tar-dipped tarantulas from heaven onto his eyes to play Tammy Faye. Jessica Chastain is taking Tammy Faye and Andrew Garfield is taking Jim.
If you ever needed a sign that we’re living in some backwards times, it might possibly be the one-two punch we’ve experienced in the past few days. Donald Trump’s former late-night bestie Jimmy Fallon has finally become the enemy, while weirdo director David Lynch popped out of nowhere and outed himself as a possible fan. 72-year-old white men with logic-defying hair gotta stick together, I guess?
There are so many stories about Mel B’s soon-to-be ex-husband Stephen Belafonte allegedly being a top-shelf creep of the highest order, that you could make a wild guess about his life and not even come close to being correct. Go ahead, make one now! Think of the craziest shit Stephen Belafonte could be accused of. Okay, did you guess “forcing employees to watch ISIS beheading videos“? Well, that’s something that allegedly happened.
Even for a Katt Williams story, there’s a whole hell of a lot to unpack here, so let’s get right to it. TMZ says that Lil’ Suge Knight has been sued by a woman named Jamila Majesty who claims that two years ago Katt ordered a beat down on her after she used his bathroom. Who knew Katt was so territorial about his litter box?
Yep, you guessed it: even more Deep Thoughts, courtesy of wealthy teenage philosopher Jaden Smith. Will and Jada’s kid was recently named one of TIME magazine’s 30 Most Influential Teens of 2015, a list that also includes Kylie and Kendall Jenner, so…that should tell you everything you need to know about that. TIME also talked to Jaden, because apparently TIME wanted to get the kind of high that comes from a drug called “Jaden Smith opening his mouth and letting thoughts fall out.”
Jaden Smith clearly had some nuggets of potent crazy left over from his recent interview with GQ. So when TIME was ready, Jaden the Influential Teen asked them to find a comfortable spot on the floor away from any sharp objects, set their Facebook status to “Away“, and get ready to fly high on the physical manifestation of the word bonkers.