I don’t know Mariah Carey’s new manager (I literally “I don’t know her”), but I’m sort of leaning towards Team Entourage. I mean, look at the dog tags on that necklace; there isn’t a single Hello Kitty head made out of pave pink sapphires to be seen. Anyone who dares to wear such uninspired jewelry around Mimi clearly doesn’t have her client’s best interests in mind.

But back to Team Entourage. According to Page Six, several people in Mariah’s team have handed in their two weeks notice because they can’t stand her new manager, Stella Bulochnikov. Sources say Mimi’s business manager Michael Kane, international publicist Connie Filippello, domestic publicist Chris Chambers, tour manager Michael Richardson, travel manager Gaylin Winkler, and stylist Wilfredo Rosado (who designed Mimi’s gorgeous engagement ring) have all quit. That’s too bad, because if anyone should be working for glitter candy butterfly diva Mariah Carey, it’s a person named “Gaylin Winkler.”

Mimi hired Stella last year after they were introduced by Brett Ratner. That alone is technically reason enough for why you wouldn’t want to work with someone, but there are a bunch of reasons why Mimi’s crew quit. Sources say Stella is “toxic” and difficult to work with, adding that “seasoned executives in their profession don’t want to put up with her.” She also brought in her family to help manage Mimi’s career. Her former team is also side-eyeing Mimi’s choice to hire a “complete stranger” to manager her career. They’re also not crazy about Stella acting as the puppet master for Mariah’s upcoming reality show.

As for that reality show, a source tell Page Six that Stella is using the show to talk shit and spread lies about Mimi’s former employees. Apparently Mariah’s reality show is Stella’s own personal Burn Book. She has also allegedly changed the focus of the show. The show was supposed to be about Mariah’s shows in Las Vegas. But the source claims that Stella has turned it into a trashy pile of fakery. Okay, I’ve officially moved over to Team Stella. Not only is she the reason for why we’ve been given the greatest gift of our lifetimes, but she’s also the reason for why it will be an over-the-top dramatic mess. Thank you Stella! You truly do care about Mariah’s legacy.

Here’s Mariah looking like the Hogwarts PTA’s sexiest MILF while greeting her loyal subjects yesterday in Birmingham, England.

Pics: Instagram, Wenn.com

Paula Deen is teaming up with Sandra Lee and getting into the edible arrangements game. – Shane Yorston

Upvote winner:

Ana Duggar finally figures out a way to make Josh eat her. – dbasedNYC

Pic: Reddit

The moment in last night’s The Passion Live when Jesus Christ rose on top of a Westin to yodel out a Katy Perry song. 

“Jesus be a weed man dropping a giant bag of the good shit on my front door, because I am definitely not stoned enough for this shit” is probably what the three people (including my ass) who actually watched Fox’s sometimes-live musical about the crucifixion of Jesus Christ said last night. When Fox announced that they were gifting the world with a Tyler Perry-hosted live Jesus Christ musical, I just knew it would be a parade of fuckery, and they didn’t really disappoint.

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Scott Eastwood (30)
Diggy Simmons (21)
Sonequa Martin-Green (31)
Deryck Whibley (36)
Melissa Gorga (37)
KFed (38)
Ananda Lewis (43)
Jerry Supiran (43)
Jaye Davidson (48)
Jill Schoelen (53)
Matthew Broderick (54)
Rosie O’Donnell (54)
Kassie DePaiva (55)
Sabrina Le Beauf (58)
Gary Oldman (58)
Timothy Dalton (70 or 72)

Pic: Instagram

I’m betting a couple of stylists are going to be down at the unemployment office. Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill showed up to the Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice premiere in Mexico City all identically creamy. These two don’t strike me as the type to plan cutesy stunts. Both of them are too busy doing the endless press for this allegedly endless flick. They’re probably too stressed out to be that annoying. Hank’s probably terrified he’s going to go the way of Brandon Routh (let me help you with that”?”). Ben’s sweating over how much it’s going to hurt to get that monstrosity on his back lasered off now that he’s said it’s supposedly fake. They were probably both hissy over the other guy trying to channel Gatsby as well.

What do I know? I myself am too busy wondering how they’re going to tell me Batman is going to stand a chance against Superman to care about this. I don’t even like Superman and I still know that he would rip Batman’s head off and use it as a really morbid doorstop.

Here’s more thrilling pics of Affleck, Cavill, Gal Godot (Wonder Woman), and director Zach Snyder. 

Pics: Splash

Translation: Actor Guy Pearce has filled Dutch actress Carice Van Houten with child. Felicia I’m more than familiar with, but Melisandre eludes my notice. I don’t watch Game of Thrones. And now you know that I am a breathtaking combination of courageous and patient. Because when you reveal that you don’t watch GOT, it’s inevitable that someone will shame you like you didn’t vax your kids. People act so disappointed in you! Look, bitch, I have to contend with just about every show in Shondaland, most of Netflix, and trying to find goddamn BBC America on the guide so I don’t miss Orphan Black when it’s in season. Not to mention writing hate e-mails to NBC for cancelling Hannibal. I. AM. TELEVISUALLY BUSY.  And from what I know of Game of Thrones, everyone’s always getting raped. I’m not here for that. Sorry. Right. There’s news to report on.

People reports that this is their first child together. Miss Van Houten’s character apparently had her first fictional child on the show and it was some sort of demon. The two future parents joked about this on Twitter:

Congratulations to Felicia and Melisandre! Please name the kid “Shadowbaby.”

Check out more pics from last month of Guy with Laura Linney, Colin Firth, and Jude Law at the Berlin Film Fest premiere of Genius in the gallery below.

Pics: WENN