This is going to buy the Hulkster a lot of pre-ripped tees, overused tanning salon packages, and spandex stretchy pants! TMZ claims that Gawker Media, founder Nick Denton and editor A.J. Daulerio might end up owing cartoony racist ranter Hulk Hogan as much as half a billion. The Gawker Media gang was found liable in court this week for posting a sex tape vid starring Hulk and a former friend’s wife on their site. (I refuse to type “Bubba the Love Sponge.” Argh, I just did.)

According to him, Hulk’s personal narrative turned tragic after he split with that hot piece Linda when the sex tapin’ cam caught him dropping the n-bomb causing the WWE to axe his leathery ass. Hogan has already been awarded $115 million in compensatory damages. This week, the jury will decide what to award him in punitive. According to Harvey Levin’s House, the legal tea is that the Florida Supreme Court ordinarily awards punitive damages that are two to three times more than compensatory, which means that Gawker Media may end up owing Hulk Hogan close to half a billion dollars. Was the jury imported directly from the Hulkamaniacs fan club? Was the foreman wearing a red and yellow do-rag as he read the verdict? Did Hulk promise that daughter that he’s way too into to someone in the box?

Gawker founder Denton has said that they plan to appeal the verdict. Look for them to install a GoFundMe plug-in on the Gawker site to start collecting the 50 million required for the bond to appeal. That being said, does anyone know if Hulk will be needing a live-in houseboy? I’m white if that helps.

Pic: Wenn

Pamela Smart has obviously not blossomed into any sort of cineaste whilst serving a life sentence. In a recent interview, she revealed that she has some issues with Nicole Kidman’s performance in 1996’s To Die For, the fictionalized account of her life and crimes. Nicole played Pam as a fame-hungry & murderous dummy with barely concealed rage issues and a willingness to nail kids from the voc/tech. Pam feels that ain’t her.

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Sometimes when I think of a Hot Slut of the Day, I immediately toss them into the “Been There, Done That” pile, because I figure that there’s no way in heaven, hell or purgatory that I haven’t done them. Jennifer Paige fell into that category. But yesterday, Jennifer Paige’s late-90s masterpiece Crush filled my car and when I later checked to see if she was ever HSOTD, the sad and awful truth finally hit me. She hasn’t! Well, she hasn’t until today anyway.

Jennifer Paige still makes and releases music through her YouTube Channel and her Kickstarter-funded new album is coming out soon. I know, on Dictionary.com, one of the examples under the definition for “strange‘ should be the fact that Jennifer Paige didn’t make hundreds of millions of dollars from 1998’s song of the summer Crush. Crush was a G-rated casual hook-up anthem that was a worldwide hit and got really close to giving Jennifer Paige a #1 hit in the US. If you ever need a wholesome song to perfectly express your thoughts on how the dick is okay, and it’ll do for now, but it’s not so good that it’ll make you be the co-signer on the dude’s car loan, Crush is that song. And Jennifer Paige is sort of giving me Bridgette Wilson-Sampras with a touch of Hoku and Jennifer Lawrence in this video. This video also looks like a really long commercial for a 90s chat line.

Today’s HSOTD is also perfect for Palm Sunday, because if this song was out during bible times, it would definitely play at the after-party for Jesus’ entrance.

Ruby Rose (30)
Louie Vito (28)
Jionni LaValle (29)
Dean Geyer (30)
Christy Romano (32)
Nick Blood (34)
Nick Wheeler (34)
Bianca Lawson (37)
Chester Bennington (40)
Jane March (43)
Michael Rapaport (46)
Kathy Ireland (53)
David Thewlis (53)
Holly Hunter (58)
Spike Lee (59)
Theresa Russell (59)
William Hurt (66)
Hal Linden (85)
Carl Reiner (94)

Pic: The Coveteur 

The perpetually questionable sun spot you have on your back that your derm keeps saying “I think it looks fine” to you about, Lindsay Lohan, is back. Acting. Kind of. No. I can’t say she’s acting. She posted a self-tape audition in the form of a little Dubsmash video of her doing a scene from The Parent Trap next to a coke-filled glove emoji.

For those of you that don’t know, The Parent Trap is a Disney remake about two incredibly selfish and irresponsible people who each take one of their baby twins after they split up. Lindsay plays the twins, one English and one American. They end up at the same camp, figure out who they are, switch places and then there’s a top hat with a wedding dress and Dennis Quaid takes a shit or something.

A video posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on Mar 17, 2016 at 10:04pm PDT

What’s really important in all this is that you can hear the acting ability in her wee little child voice and see that the receipts don’t add up to what she can do now. But I guess for her career at his point that’s acting, right? This could go on her IMDb! Get on that, Dina!

Pic: Lindsay Lohan’s Instagram

There is a magical place, one most people dream, but only a select few get to see, let alone be a part of. It is decadent, gold splashed everywhere, designer shopping bags filled with goodies and champagne that pours directly onto your breasts and into your glass. This magical place is the Gold Diggers Hall of Fame and every Hollywood tramp, I mean, Lady, dreams of having her picture up in it one day. However, there is a dark and sad place within its hallowed walls… the Room of Failure. This room is piled high with broken shovels and black and white photos with cracked glass of those that did not seal the deal, sell the story or simply fucked up. Queen of this sad place is Oksana Grigorieva, the baby mama of Mel Gibson.

Oksana is back in the news today because she’s hoping to limp out of the Room of Failure by asking for more, much more, in child support. Based on her past plays and scorecard, I’m not gonna hold out any hope or place my chips on her. She fucked up real bad, real big back in 2011 when she said “no” to Mel’s offer of $15 million. She made it out like she mostly said no because she wanted to rework the part of the deal involving him spending unsupervised time with their daughter, Lucia. We all strained to not spit up whatever we were drinking, including the judge. She ended up getting $750,000 over six years and Mel got even more daddy time with the kid. Since then it’s been blow after blow. She filed for bankruptcy in 2014 and was fined a shit ton the same year for talking about Mel when she wasn’t supposed to. I was pretty surprised back when this all happened because of Mel’s history with anti-semitism, sexism, alcohol and even admitting to hitting her. I thought his sugartits were done for but he’s the slime that keeps on sliming, I suppose.

Now TMZ is reporting that Oksana is heading back to court to try and up her $20,000 a month to $100,000. She’s claiming she needs the money to higher more security for their daughter, even though she has no proof that she’s at risk, as well as to support a certain lifestlye (travel, lodging, etc). Maybe this is her time? Maybe she’s been playing some slow burn game and this time the judge will be like, “my poor girl! What a travesty! I award you a million dollars a month forever and ever!” But I’m not counting on that. And neither should she. I’m just hoping that judge punishes Mel more harshly than whatever heartless creature judge they got before. What a monster!

Pic: Wenn