Night Crumbs
Leonardo DiCatchAHo is out and Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are in as the hosts of a Hillary Clinton fundraiser in L.A. Nobody is probably more sad about this news than Bill Clinton, because he’s been looking forward to hanging out with The Pussy Posse and a bunch of models in the hot tub of a stretch Hummer limousine headed to the after-party – Lainey Gossip
I watched Tom Daley compete at the Olympics on Saturday, and I both shook my head and laughed when he messed-up his final dive and the commentator immediately said, “His dreams are shattered.” – Celebitchy
Something for you to file away in the folder marked Highly Important: Phil Collins’ daughter has a nipple ring – Drunken Stepfather
I see that Joyce Giraud, formerly of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, learned witchcraft and managed to put a hex on Carlton Gebbia – Reality Tea
Kim Kartrashian’s dekoy may have tricked the paps if she glued two beach balls full of soil jelly to her butt- The Superficial
“The S is soft! It’s supposed to be smooth like buttah!” – Barbra Streisand screaming at Siri for not saying her last name right – Towleroad
Justin Bieber’s latest piece-of-the-second is named Bronte Blampied. I don’t know if that sounds like the name of a really complicated sex act or like the name of a rejected Hunger Games character – WWTDD
Bette Midler is sorry for that tweet about Caitlyn Jenner – Jezebel
The paps still take pictures of Ali Lohan – Egotastic!
Professor Ty Ty Baby is teaching a course at Stanford and sadly it’s not on smizing and booty toochin’ – HuffPo
And on today’s episode of Tales From The Thirsty Side… – Popoholic
Speaking of thirsty, here’s a topless and wet Idris Elba – SOW
Harry Potter has racist friends – OMG Blog
Looking like two baby plastic hippos trying to drown each other – IDLYITW
After that link above, you may need a palate cleanser, so here’s the natural beauty of Chloe Khan – Hollywood Tuna
That Napster douche would offer highly respectable thespian Sir Ian McKellen $1.5 million to dress up as Gandalf to officiate his wedding – Just Jared
Pic: Wenn.com
Alexa And Carlos PenaVega Managed To Out-WTF Jamie Oliver In The Baby Name Department
To some, Alexa and Carlos PenaVega are known as “WHO?” and “WHO?” To others, they’re known as the little girl from Spy Kids and the dude from that Nickelodeon boy band who competed against each other on Dancing with the Has-Beens. But now, they should only be known as the messes who came up with a baby name that is filled with more WTF than the name that serial jacked-up baby name-giver Jamie Oliver gave to his latest child.
Shannen Doherty’s Cancer Lawsuit Has Been Settled
We all found out that Shannen Doherty was diagnosed with breast cancer after she sued her ex-management, Tanner Mainstain Glynn & Johnson, for causing her insurance policy (through SAG) to be canceled due to a missed payment. Shannen’s insurance got canceled for the year 2014, and by the time it got reinstated and she was able to go see her doctor for a check-up in March 2015, the evilest cunt of evil cunts, cancer, had entered her body. Shannen stated in her lawsuit that if her business managers did their job, her insurance wouldn’t have been dropped and her doctor would have discovered the cancer much earlier on. Shannen wanted $15 million. Well, Shannen has one less thing to deal with now, because that lawsuit has been settled.
UsWeekly says that in court documents that were filed last week, both sides said that they agreed to a settlement number last Friday. We don’t know how big of a pile of money Shannen is getting, because the settlement amount is confidential. Shannen is going through chemo and earlier this month, she said that the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes.
No matter what the settlement amount is, Tanner Mainstain Glynn & Johnson got off easy, and they should be thankful to gold-hearted Shannen Doherty for taking pity upon them. Because if that case went to trial, the jury would’ve unanimously found those tricks guilty of the capital crime of messing with Brenda Walsh and awarded her the entire company and the assets of everyone involved! The jury would’ve also ruled that those heartless whores Kelly and Dylan are somehow to blame and they should be jailed forever!
Pic: Instagram
Open Post: Hosted By Jason Momoa Getting Into Some Climbing Action
I have good news and bad news. The good news is that here’s pictures of panty creamer legend Jason Momoa flexing his arm muscles while climbing. The bad news is that he’s not climbing your ass.
Last week, Jason went to Spain with his wife Lisa Bonet and their kids for vacaciones, and on Friday, he got away from them for a second to promote his friend’s climbing gym in Barcelona by partaking in a climbing contest. It’s stories like this that make me wish I was friends with Jason Momoa and also had a climbing gym in Barcelona that needed promoting. If I owned a gym in Barcelona and Jason Momoa, my friend, agree to promote it, I’d say to him, “Okay, J-Mom, I’m thinking that we should host a climbing contest and you’re the only competitor, and you have to do it naked and also hang a sign with my gym’s name on it from your peen.” Then he’d say, “Dude, that’s wrong and you’re creeping me out. Stop it.” Then I’d say, “Okay, okay, you can wear a shirt, but the sign hanging off of your peen is an important part of my marketing campaign.” *CLICK* We’d have the best friendship!
And here’s more pics of Jason Momoa including some for all you sucio foot fetishists out there.
Pics: Splash
Surprise, Surprise: The “Ben-Hur” Remake That Nobody Asked For Is A Box Office Bomb
“Note to self: Fire my managers, agents and anyone else who thought doing this shit show of biblical proportions was a good idea.” – Morgan Freeman in that picture. It looks like his horse is thinking the same thing too.
Pretty much nobody thought to themselves “#ImWithHur” and acted upon it this past weekend, because it totally flopped at the domestic box office. Deadline reports that Ben-Hur got pounded by Sausage Party, Suicide Squad and War Dogs. (That sounds like the most messed-up orgy ever.) Ben-Hur brought in a whopping $11 million, which is nearly 1/10th of the $100 million it cost to make. Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, who already made a lot of money off of the Bible, produced this wreck, so I have a feeling that the next time they pray to Jesus, they’re going to be hit with an error 404, because he just can’t with them right now.
Thomas Gibson Secretly Filed For Divorce Two Years Ago
I’m very thankful to Michael for a lot of things. Giving me a job, not firing me when I asked what Phoebe Price’s actual job was, etc. But I’m most recently thankful that when he wrote about Thomas Gibson’s suspension from Criminal Minds for kicking a producer, he ended it with that legendary hot tub video. I had totally forgotten about the time Thomas Gibson was catfished on Twitter three years ago. I knew he was married at the time, but I wasn’t sure if he still was, because recording a video that belongs in the Cringeworthy Hall of Fame would have lead to a divorce, right? Well, a quick internet search a few weeks ago showed that Thomas Gibson was still with his wife of 23 years, Christine Gibson. As it turns out, my divorce intuition was sort-of right.