Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s dramatic custody fight over their 16-year-old son Rocco Ritchie is officially over. At least for now. We are talking about a situation involving a teenager and two adults with a history of acting like teenagers, so maybe let’s not hold our breath on this one just yet.

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The last time I wrote about the Pope of Gold Diggers, Elin Nordegren, she was supposedly dropping her million dollar poon onto the billion dollar peen belonging to the opulent human form of a Dynasty episode. Tiger Wood’s ex was dating Palm Beach tycoon Chris Cline, and many of us were hoping that she would achieve Gold Digging Saint status by marrying him without a prenup and later getting a giant chunk of his billion dollar fortune in a divorce settlement. That didn’t happen, and over three years later, she may have decided to do a little charity work by slumming it with poor peasant Gavin Rossdale.

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There’s a new dramatic twist to Halle Berry’s messy situation with her soon-to-be third ex-husband Olivier Martinez. But it’s not the kind of messy that ends with Halle’s new man getting into a Labor Day holiday brawl with Olivier on the front lawn. No, Halle doesn’t have a new man. In fact, it sounds like she wants to stay married to her former man.

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Zendaya, seen above wearing the shirt from Merry-Go-Round that you worked the shit out of in the early-90s, accused a checkout chick at Vons of being rude and racially profiling her ass. Yesterday, Zendaya told the saga of the alleged racist checkout lady in a series of Snapchats. Zendaya says that when she tried to buy a few gift cards from the grocery store Vons in L.A., the checkout lady refused and tossed her wallet back at her. Dlisted’s highly-skilled research assistant (my dog) is currently on his 12th nap of the day, but before he starts his 13th, I’ll get him to check to see if the name tag on that Vons’ employee had the name “GIULIANA” on it.

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Now that Jeremy Renner’s latest child support fight with his ex-wife is over, he can move on to bigger battles. Like trying to convince his stylist to throw a couple more of those gorgeous crystal beaded roses on his tuxedo jacket next time. “Come on, how many times do I have to tell you? Jer’s gotta sparkle.”

Back in July, Jeremy’s ex-wife Sonni Pacheco continued her quest to get money by accusing him of owing more than $48,000 in unpaid child support for their 3-year-old daughter Ava Berlin. On top of the $48,000, Sonni also wanted Hawkeye to fork over an extra $1,600 a month for Ava’s preschool tuition payments. If you happen to see Sonni Pacheco doing a little happy dance at an ATM today, you’ll know why. TMZ says that Jeremy is giving Sonni more child support money. Jeremy’s child support payments will go from $13,000 to $16,000 a month. He has also agreed to cut Sonni a $24,000 check to cover the cost of her lawyer and accountant. No word on if he has also paid back that $48,000 he allegedly owed her in unpaid child support.

When Sonni first asked for more money from Jeremy two months ago, he allegedly texted her back “I don’t have the cash to give you.” And yet, Jeremy somehow managed to find several thousand extra dollars to give her. It’s a miracle! Or maybe it’s not a miracle, but merely Sonni’s expert-level get money skills at work. Sonni asked for an extra $1,600 and she got $3,000. Sonny should really consider buying up some of those recently-closed ITT Tech campuses and open her own for-profit school. Sonni could get paid to teach the next generation of aspiring her secrets to landing a lucrative money-hustling gig (possible name: 9 Months to $uccess). It’s a win-win for everyone!

Pic: Wenn.com

Ursula’s vegan diet has brought many changes beneath the sea. Poor Spongebob will never be the same. – Shane Yorston

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Pic: Cheezburger