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And also leave it to 2016 to turn Last Christmas into the saddest Christmas song ever…

Well, the angels are lucky today, at least, because they’re getting a live mash-up performance of I Want Your Sex And Modern Love In A Little Red Corvette from George Michael, David Bowie and Prince. As you know, because your soul has probably already been knocked on its bare ass from the news, the iconic George Michael (born name: Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou) died of heart on Christmas Day at his home in England. His manager says he died of heart failure. He was only 53.  George Michael’s publicist gave this statement to Entertainment Weekly:

“It is with great sadness that we can confirm our beloved son, brother and friend George passed away peacefully at home over the Christmas period. The family would ask that their privacy be respected at this difficult and emotional time. There will be no further comment at this stage.”

The BBC says that at around 1:42pm, the police answered a call at George Michael’s home in Goring in Oxfordshire. The police called his death “unexplained” but said there were no suspicious circumstances. George Michael’s rep also tells TMZ that he had not been sick recently.

The last time I wrote about George Michael was in 2014 when he fell in his home. And in 2011, that terrible shit head pneumonia nearly took him. George Michael also struggled with addiction and had a few dramatic situations involving cars.

This one really hurts, because like many of us, I grew up with Wham! and George Michael songs and many of them were the soundtrack to moments in my life. I mean, who didn’t recreate the Freedom video with help from their friends and a camcorder in 1990?

And I’d like to think that as George Michael strutted through the gates of heaven in dark glasses and a leather jacket Jesus threw him a side-eye that said, “Really, snatching the spotlight on my birthday?”

Rest in peace, George Michael.

Pic: Getty

Everyone better put their pocketbooks in a prayer circle because a treasonous cold is still messing with THE QUEEN (exact medical term for THE QUEEN’s cold:  acute viral morrisseyngitis) and she had to sit out of Christmas Day church service for the first time in decades.

So because his 90-year-old great-grandmum wasn’t there to make fun of Duchess Camilla’s tragic hat and ensemble with him, Prince George was probably extra bored. Proof of Prince George’s boredom: that picture above of him having to entertain himself with the candy of the peasants as everyone around him nervously tries to figure out ways to amuse him before he sends them all to the gallows!

The British royal family all got into their best Christmastime Downton Abbey cosplay today to do their annual pap walk into and out of St. Mark’s Church in Englefield, Berkshire. The Middletons, including Pippa and her banker betrothed, were also there. Prince Hot Ginge disappointed me today, because he did not bring his girlfriend Meghan Markle, who I was hoping would show Duchess Kate up by wearing an amazingly elegant body bow, and he also didn’t put that ginger beard to good use by dressing up as Kris Kringle.

But well, at least we have Prince George throwing “your future king is not amused’ eyes while working a sharp-as-shit A-line coat, knee socks and little loafers.

Happy Whatever Your Ass Celebrates, everyone! May you spend your holiday sucking on a candy cane while judging everyone around you!

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

PETER! (as played by Greg Wrangler) from the legendary Folgers holiday commercial that played for centuries and centuries!

Starting in the mid-1980s, Folgers ran their iconic “Peter Comes Home For Christmas” and it feels like it still plays today, but it was actually retired in the early 2000s. That shit was a movie! Peter, who looks like a 30-something brown-headed Ken doll but was supposed to be a college student, comes home unannounced on Christmas morning. When Peter comes through the doors, the little Poltergeist-looking girl wakes up and after he flicks on the Christmas tree with the touch of a switch, his little sister (I’m guessing, or maybe she’s the daughter he made with his high school girlfriend and then dumped on his parents, probably) runs down the stairs screaming, “PETER!”

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Adorable panda creature Da Mao loves the snow. Good thing for him he lives in Toronto. The Toronto Zoo, to be specific! His keepers thought it would be fun to build him a snowy friend for him. The description for this video says that this was “for enrichment.” Guess what Da Mao really finds enriching? Destruction! Mr. Snow-friend lasted about a minute before Da Mao utterly destroyed him. It wasn’t intentional. He was just exploring! Snow people aren’t really built for big ole’ ursa majors to be jumping atop their heads to paw and claw. Next time maybe they should glue two of those big exercise balls together. Wait, no, claws pop things.

Check out Da Mao’s snowman demolition below.