George Michael Fell Out Of A Moving Range Rover On The Motorway

The Sun’s headline for this story is: “Scrape me up before you go slow.” I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, slow clap or slap The Sun. Not today, The Sun, not today!

Last week, the original George Michael was airlifted to a hospital in London after he got into a car accident on the M1. George was treated for cuts and bruises and released. George wasn’t driving and at the time and nobody knew what happened until now. Katherine Fox tells The Sun that she saw George Michael fall out of the passenger side of a silver Range Rover that was going 70mph on the motorway. (insert your WHAM! jokes here) Katherine, who busted out an “I am concerned, but also sexy” face while posing next to her Mini Cooper for The Sun, said George fell out and bounced along the motorway. Katherine ran to George and says his clothes were ripped, his shoes were off and he had a huge cut on his forehead. Katherine went on to say:

“I asked what had gone on and was told he tried to open the car door and shut it again because it wasn’t shut properly and apparently fell out at 70mph. I was on the phone to the ambulance and said, ‘You’d better come quick. This doesn’t look good’. George was wearing a black and gold Adidas tracksuit that was ripped all down the arm and shoulder. He had no trainers on. I grabbed one from the second lane because cars were swerving to avoid it. His sunglasses were also in the road. I could hear the crunch as cars drove over them.

George didn’t say anything, he just seemed in shock. He was sitting down against a car and in the arms of his friend. The guy holding him was quite scared. He kept saying to George, ‘Are you all right mate?’ I think George was lucky he didn’t die. If he’d landed in the second lane he would have been hit by a car without a doubt. He was in the middle of the M1. I could have run him over.”

George’s boyfriend Fadi Fawaz, who wasn’t in the car, told The Sun that he’s resting at home and is doing good.

So many damn questions. Why wasn’t George wearing a seat belt? Was this a hook-up gone terribly, terribly wrong? Was Gucci Mane driving the car? I was going to ask who tries to open and shut the door on the freeway, but then I realized that the answer is obviously George Michael. Oh, George Michael. When he drives a car, bad things happens and when he just sits in a car, bad things happen. Maybe he should just take the bus from now on.