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Goopy Spoofed GOOP On “Saturday Night Live”
As if losing an hour of sleep for daylight savings time wasn’t the most INSUFFERABLE thing about this day already, Saturday Night Live just went and made the weekend worse with their GOOP parody on Weekend Update. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that they brought Gwyneth Paltrow on as a surprise guest to make fun of her to her face yet failed by pulling back on all of their punches, or that they failed to offer a mock PSA on the benefits of steaming one’s vagina while simultaneously boiling water for making organic zucchini spaghetti. Major missed opportunity.
Lindsay Shookus Doesn’t Drink Booze Around Ben Affleck, Prefers To Load Him Up With Caffeine
Lindsay Shookus and Ben Affleck have decided to give things another solid go. Since getting back together, Ben’s buddies have been worried that he’s in a fragile spot with his recovery, and as Lindsay is not sober, they’re afraid this re-pairing might be a bad thing. Well, Ben’s friends can untwist their bunched up panties, because sources claim Lindsay doesn’t drink around Ben. Instead, Ben and Lindsay are pushing aside the booze bottles and welcoming Britney Spear’s favorite drink of choice, the royal Frap. Ok, Ben and Lindsay are drinking boring coffee instead, but hey, at least it’s not spiked with Wild Turkey.
Jennie Garth Tells Fans To Pipe Down After She Didn’t Post About Luke Perry On Social Media
Because “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” is the hillbilly second cousin of “if it wasn’t tweeted, the thought is deleted” or “if it’s not in a insta story, the bitch isn’t really sorry” (read in a Canadian accent to rhyme “story” with “sorry“), Jennie Garth is getting shit from people for not joining some of her 90210 cast mates in posting photos of Luke Perry with kind words on social media following his death on March 4. And because this is Kelly Taylor and Dylan McKay we are talking about, mourning “Team Brenda” fans are taking this opportunity to tell Jennie what a who-re she is, which has her clapping back.
BBC Radio 2 Dropped Michael Jackson’s Music Ahead Of “Leaving Neverland”
BBC Radio 2 has apparently quietly dropped Michael Jackson‘s song catalog from airing on the station ahead of the premiere of the two-part documentary Leaving Neverland, which starts airing on HBO tonight and on Channel 4 in the UK on Wednesday. Leaving Neverland, in case you don’t already know, shows the sad and fucked up account of the abuse that MJ allegedly afflicted upon James Safechuck and Wade Robson when they were children. That documentary has caused BBC radio to ban all things recorded by the singularly sparkling gloved one.
Simon Pegg Got Skinny Ripped For A Movie
Simon Pegg is looking radically… different? A picture of the usually perfectly average bodied actor was posted online ahead of the release of his new film Inheritance, which shows him looking positively… I’m not sure “ripped” is the right word, or whatever the word is for looking like he has forgone acting to live in a backwoods Pennsyltucky trailer park where he spends his days and nights scratching imaginary spiders off of his face and binge eating Skittles. Simon has either gotten the hot Neville Longbottom treatment or the hot mess Aaron Carter treatment. Either way, like the Shibu Inu 6 cameras (but not as cute) I dare you to try and turn away from this photo.
Stevie Nicks On Her Vault Of Shawls, Her Flip Phone, And Dire Wolf Fantasies
Stevie Nicks, the songstress witch that inspired a million mid-2000s Coachella lewks (seriously, she really missed an opportunity to create a cheap line of shawls and lace-up bodice dresses modeled by Vanessa Hudgens for Target before the festival style switched to oversize 80s neon t-shirts) was recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for the second time. While there are 22 men who have been given the honor, Stevie is the the first woman to have been selected twice; the first time for being Head Witch in Charge (sorry, Christine McVie) of Fleetwood Mac and this time as a solo artist.
Since 2019 is a take no prisoners grab the dirt bags by the balls kind of year, Stevie is HERE for the honor and gave an interview with Rolling Stone that lets us into some of the nuances of her enchantress magic, and yes, it’s just as good as you would expect from the ethereal feathered hair sorceress that is Stevie Nicks.