Pour out that venti Americano with a splash of almond milk from Starbucks (actually don’t, because that mess probably cost you like $45 and there’s no need to waste it on these two), because Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus have left us SHOOKus once again by delivering the sequel to their first break up. They have ended things again. My thoughts and prayers are with the entire coffee industry who are definitely shaking in fear over their future now that coffee’s IT couple has broken up. The shoulder of Juan Valdez’s donkey is probably covered in his tears as he cries on his sidekick over this awful news.
Lindsay Shookus and Ben Affleck have decided to give things another solid go. Since getting back together, Ben’s buddies have been worried that he’s in a fragile spot with his recovery, and as Lindsay is not sober, they’re afraid this re-pairing might be a bad thing. Well, Ben’s friends can untwist their bunched up panties, because sources claim Lindsay doesn’t drink around Ben. Instead, Ben and Lindsay are pushing aside the booze bottles and welcoming Britney Spear’s favorite drink of choice, the royal Frap. Ok, Ben and Lindsay are drinking boring coffee instead, but hey, at least it’s not spiked with Wild Turkey.
Ben Affleck just can’t seem to stay single for very long. Us Weekly reports that he and Lindsay Shookus are “are totally back on” on after being spotted together over the weekend. Looks like Lindsay finally got her timing right! Neither are still married like they both allegedly were when they first got together back in the summer of 2017. The two were together for a year before they ended things that fateful summer of 2018. Now they’re both divorced! And now that Ben’s working on his sobriety, and not eating cold Jack In The Box fries off of a Playboy model’s chest anymore, he’s almost a catch. Lindsay was smart to let Jennifer Garner swoop in and do the heavy lifting that got him there for her. Thankless work, that is.
Lately, Ben Affleck is probably feeling freer than you ladies feel when you take your bras off at the end of the day. This would be ever since he was able to unyoke HIS boobies from HIS bra aka not having to play florid movie Batman anymore. Ben (who’s also officially divorced and post-rehab) is seemingly feeling so good that he’s even ringing up the woman he dated before shit went downhill for him. The Daily Mail reports that Ben and his Saturday Night Live producer ex-gf Lindsay Shookus were spotted on a Starbucks run together in L.A. yesterday, and Metro reports that they had dinner together last night (pics above). And somewhere, a Playboy model’s single tear has sadly alighted on one surgically augmented breast.
When it was reported earlier this week that Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus had broken up after about a year of dating, and that he had moved on to a 22-year-old Playboy model, it seemed like yet another box was checked on Ben’s Mid-Life To-Do List. I’m sure anyone was surprised, and Jennifer Garner was right there with the rest of us.
There’s trouble in paradise for Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus. Well, their relationship never really seemed too hot to begin with, to be honest, so I guess I should say: There’s trouble in mediocrity for Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus.
UPDATE: E! News says that ShookLeck is no more after one year of dating, because of distance. And by that they don’t mean it was hard for her to get close to him with his peen in a Playboy model. Shookus lives in NYC and Ben mostly lives in L.A.