It’s no secret that James Woods loves running his mouth off on Twitter (it’s how he recently found himself without an agent). He also loves Donald Trump. So James was very upset when the people of London, England greeted Trump with a giant orange baby balloon on Friday. Lawyer for Stormy Daniels, enemy of Trump, and the internet’s favorite legal hunk Michael Avenatti happened to be in London during Trump’s visit and spoke live with BBC News. I would have figured that James Woods was the type who owned a special TV that played only Fox News and The Hard Way, but apparently James also gets BBC News.
Stormy Daniels Was Arrested At An Ohio Strip Club For Allegedly Letting An Undercover Cop Motorboat Her (UPDATE)
UPDATE: All the charges against Stormy have been dropped, because the Ohio law is only meant for regular strip club strippers. Stormy was a featured guest dancer. The judge already threw the charges out, and that’s that. Poor “Deric Dump” (see my “joke” below) had to bruise his one brain cell by trying to figure out how to call the cops in Columbus for nothing! The cops also claim that they weren’t targeting Stormy. They were there to look into complaints of drugs and hooking.
Here’s the original story:
The shit Stormy Daniels was put into handcuffs for may have been stupid and a complete waste of everyone’s time, but at least she brought it in her mug shot, and gave that camera heaping servings of beauty, glamour, and intrigue with that yellow-haired Jaqueline Smith Charlie’s Angels seasons 1 hair and those smoky vengeance eyes. Stormy really needs to do a YouTube beauty tutorial showing us how to paint your face up so it remains stunning even under the harsh beauty-hating lighting of a police station.
CNN says that Stormy Daniels, the porn star and one-time fuck partner of Donald Trump (as in, they only fucked once) who is suing him for defamation, was arrested late last night at Sirens strip club in Columbus, OH for letting a customer touch her. The customer happened to be an undercover cop named Officer Mary Prather. Stormy is accused of touching Officer Mary’s ass and breasts before motorboating her. Ohio law states that a stripper who gets naked or semi-naked can only touch a customer if they’re related to that customer. Jabba the Trump is definitely cackling over one of his many rivals getting arrested, but he’s also making a mental note that if for some reason Ivanka has to become a stripper, she needs to do so in Ohio.
Kathy Griffin is still on her “Ignore That Teary Press Conference, ‘Cuz I’m Not A Bit Sorry For Looking Like I Was Ready To Decapitate POTUS” comedy tour. At last night’s stop here in Boston, she received a visitor who has been way more effective at scaring the president. Because this gal’s got what we like to call THE RECEIPTS.
Talented actress and pre-presidential adultery pay-off recipient Stormy Daniels dropped backstage to wish Kathy well. The ladies took a lovely photo together (seen above) for Trump to include in his scrapbooking efforts after he leaves office, and Kathy left this lovely tweet, via Deadline:
@StormyDaniels it was an honor to have you at my Boston show tonight. I support you 100%! #FuckTrump
And to that hashtag, Stormy replied “Sure did! Here’s the canceled check!” No, she tweeted politely back:
Thank you so much! #teamstormy had a great time!
Porn star and presidential irritant Stormy Daniels popped up during the cold open on Saturday Night Live last night. Stormy is POTUS’ current least favorite person and SNL knows that there’s nothing in the world more funzies than pissing off our humorless egomaniac of a president. So they had her pop up during a Trump sketch amidst a cavalcade of guest stars including Ben Stiller as Trump’s praying-for-death attorney Michael Cohen, Martin Short as Trump’s ethically challenged (and crazy as hell) physician Dr. Harold Bornstein, Scarlett Johansson reprising her Ivanka Trump, and Jimmy Fallon as Ivanka’s husband Jared Kushner. SNL’s MVP Kate McKinnon also debuted a startlingly accurate impression of gabby Trump hanger-on Rudy Guiliani, who continues to deplete all of the goodwill he inspired during 9/11.
Shake out those wrists and crack your knuckles, it’s time for another game of Tweet Fighter! Last time we played, Donald Trump get owned by Alec Baldwin. This time, it’s the president’s alleged mistress vs. the president’s favorite TV mom.
Is it just me or is Michael Avenatti getting hotter by the day? Maybe it’s because he’s always telling me what I want to hear. Last night during a CNN Tonight interview, Avenatti The Hottie said that in the wake of Rudy Giuliani‘s surprising revelation that Donald Trump did in fact (though he’s on the record swearing he didn’t) pay Michael Cohen back for the Stormy Daniels hush fund, the president could be in some serious, term-ending trouble. According to ATH, it’s time to put the hors d’oeuvres and pre-dinner joints away, because Trump’s goose is cooked and it’s time to eat!