Category: Spencer Pratt

Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Have Already Started Planning Their Baby’s Fame Whore Future

August 31, 2017 / Posted by:

And those are his words, not mine. Although let’s face it, there’s no way a baby born to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt won’t bust out of the womb with a thirst for fame. It’s going to open its tiny baby eyes and make eye contact with the first camera it sees, like “Okay, get at least sixty of my left side, and then once the nurse wipes the rest of amniotic fluid off, sixty of my right.” And Heidi and Spencer are ready!

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Stephanie Pratt Appears To Be Furious With Her Brother Spencer

August 6, 2017 / Posted by:

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Is it 2009, you may be asking yourself after reading that post title? No, but who doesn’t love a semi-celebrity social media war? Especially if it’s a broken down former reality television star sparring with his sister. Wait, Spencer Pratt has a sister? I knew I should have paid more attention to The Hills. Stephanie Pratt, 31, had a social media conniption on Friday and it would appear to be directed at her TV whore brother Spencer, 33. Spencer and his polyurethane-titted wife, Heidi Montag, are known for their extreme fame-whoring. Stephanie seems wrought over something smug asshole Spencer did and needed everyone to know.

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Brace Yourselves For A Labor Room Paparazzi Shoot, Because Heidi Montag Is Knocked Up 

April 12, 2017 / Posted by:

More like, “Another UsWeekly Cover At Last!

Ceiling Eyes, Kristin Cavallari, Holly Montag and Stacie the Bartender already have kids. Lauren Conrad currently has a baby in her womb. So does the unseasoned sliver of soggy celery stalk who worked at Teen Vogue. And now it’s Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag’s turn to spawn! The Hills are alive with the sound of pregnancy farts. It’s as if MTV paid them all to have children around the same time, because in 20 years, all of those kids can be cast members on The Hills reboot called The Flats. MTV will have to call it The Flats since erosion will eat the Hollywood Hills by then.

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Spencer Pratt: Educated But Still Dumb

December 6, 2013 / Posted by:

If you’re wondering what Spencer Pratt has been up to lately (I’ll wait while you search high and low for that fuck your mom gave you for your birthday last year), the half of the collective asshole formerly known as Speidi made up of 99.99% less silicone and with a 47% more punchable face has been getting his learn on at USC.

“I’m done with classes,” he tells Us Weekly exclusively. “I still have one final, Spanish 3, but thankfully I have two weeks to study for it. My degree is going to be in political science.”

More like Poly Sigh since NOBODY asked. He also tweeted: “Today was my last day of College @USC! Best 10 years of my life! #Trojans”, breathing some life into the Clooney side of the “celebrities on Twitter are morons” debate. When asked by US Weekly why it took him so long to graduate, Spencer took a quick second to yank out his anal beads or Heidi Montag‘s old implants or whatever the hell he shoves up there to let his mouth do the talking once in a while and talked out of his ass, saying he was too busy “being famous” and he should “probably have a doctorate or two” by now.

Spencer should have used the last ten years of his life studying finance because InTouch says he and Heidi managed to blow through $10 million in four years. They spent $100,000/month maintaining Heidi’s Japanese hump doll look, $10,000/week at restaurants and $2.5 million on Heidi’s album that anybody with ears could have told them wouldn’t have gotten off the ground with pulleys, industrial hydraulics and a prayer. He also compared himself and Heidi to Jay-Z and Beyoncé and I think we can just let Bey take this one.

(Pic: Wenn)

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