Every now and then when I see a Lauren Conrad anything at Kohl’s, I get wistful and this strong desire hits me to flip through Teen Vogue and go for after work drinks and bitch with my biddies at Les Deux. Sadly, Teen Vogue no longer cranks out something to flip through, and Les Deux is closed, but thank GAWD Heidi Montag is a media whore and gives us our daily dose of The Hills. This time around it’s to tell us how her love of plastic surgery nearly sent her to the afterlife for good. Continue reading
There’s been talk of a reunion of The Hills, and you’ll never guess which former cast members would jump at the chance for attention, extended relevance, and a paycheck. But others, like Lo Bosworth, aren’t here for it.
Before Sunday, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt might have been colloquially known as Fame Whores 1 and 2, or those desperate blondes from The Hills who won’t ever go away. But from here on out, they’re…well, they’re still all those things, but now they’re also Mommy and Daddy.
And those are his words, not mine. Although let’s face it, there’s no way a baby born to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt won’t bust out of the womb with a thirst for fame. It’s going to open its tiny baby eyes and make eye contact with the first camera it sees, like “Okay, get at least sixty of my left side, and then once the nurse wipes the rest of amniotic fluid off, sixty of my right.” And Heidi and Spencer are ready!
Is it 2009, you may be asking yourself after reading that post title? No, but who doesn’t love a semi-celebrity social media war? Especially if it’s a broken down former reality television star sparring with his sister. Wait, Spencer Pratt has a sister? I knew I should have paid more attention to The Hills. Stephanie Pratt, 31, had a social media conniption on Friday and it would appear to be directed at her TV whore brother Spencer, 33. Spencer and his polyurethane-titted wife, Heidi Montag, are known for their extreme fame-whoring. Stephanie seems wrought over something smug asshole Spencer did and needed everyone to know.
More like, “Another UsWeekly Cover At Last!”
Ceiling Eyes, Kristin Cavallari, Holly Montag and Stacie the Bartender already have kids. Lauren Conrad currently has a baby in her womb. So does the unseasoned sliver of soggy celery stalk who worked at Teen Vogue. And now it’s Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag’s turn to spawn! The Hills are alive with the sound of pregnancy farts. It’s as if MTV paid them all to have children around the same time, because in 20 years, all of those kids can be cast members on The Hills reboot called The Flats. MTV will have to call it The Flats since erosion will eat the Hollywood Hills by then.