“The Hills” Is Coming Back… But Without Lauren Conrad And Kristin Cavallari 

Last night at the MTV VMAs, the drips and bowls of bland oatmeal from The Hills came back together to announce that MTV is bringing back the series that launched the careers of all the people not in attendance for the reunion.

Deadline is reporting that The Hills: New Beginnings will premiere in 2019 on MTV, and back for a much-needed check are: Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Audrina Patridge, Jason Wahler (Really?), Stephanie Pratt, Justin Bobby (REALLY?) and Frankie Delgado. Yes you guys, the reality show that taught us what a psychopathic narcissist was at age 14, and also gave us all of Lauren Conrad‘s raw emotion will return to do most of those things once more. “Sources” tell people that Lauren Conrad will not be involved.

“She’s in a different place in her life. But she wants everyone to enjoy themselves. She wishes everyone the best.”

The different place is probably the bank, cashing those checks from Kohl’s. Lo Bosworth is also sitting out, as expected. People reports that Kristin Cavallari, who took over for Lauren as Main White Girl in the later seasons of The Hills, is joining LC and Lo in the section marked: Fuck No To That. Kristin didn’t sign on partly because of her contract with E!, which her show Very Cavallari is on. A source says: “She can’t do the show because she has a contract with E! …But she’s still close with Heidi and Spencer and is excited for them.”

This is what Spencer Pratt has been waiting for. He’s been planning his next move for a while now and this is the result. Oh god, we’re all gonna die. I know that he and Heidi need to feed that baby they made but fuck me, do I have to suffer for it? It’s like when Heidi died for that minute she saw into the other side and brought something back with her; a demonic energy clinging to her, helping her to once again terrorize mankind.

Check out the teaser below if you want:

Pic: Instagram