Remember how just a few days ago we learned that “prostitution whor-ah!” Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey was getting married again only a week after her last divorce was finalized? They were supposed to get married today, but well, surprise! That’s not happening. There are multiple reports coming in that Danielle and her fiancé, Olivier Maier–who is allegedly the Duke of Provence–are not getting married today like they said they would, and her last husband has some ideas on why Danielle is in such a rush. Yeah girl: we all know why $he’$ getting married again.
Teresa Giudice’s “Prostitution whor-ah! You were fucking engaged, 19 times? You’re a fucking bitch!” line is going to have to be updated to “Prostitution whor-ah! You were fucking engaged, 21 times? You’re a fucking bitch!” Because Danielle Staub of the Real Housewives of New Jersey is engaged for the 21st time and is wasting no time in getting divorce #4 in there.
According to People, Danielle Staub is engaged again, a week after her messy 2-month marriage to Marty Caffrey officially ended. Danielle is now engaged to an alleged rich dude with the alleged rich-people-job (I think) of managing director of a private equity firm Olivier Maier.
Us Weekly and Radar both posted pictures of bodybuilding Housewife of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice, –gasp–holding hands with a boy at a party with her husband Juicy Joe sits in a prison cell! All that glamour just cannot be contained by one man! Someone get the brand! We need to put a scarlet A on this trick ASAP!
Last October, Juicy Joe of the Real Housewives of New Jersey was told by a judge he’s going to be deported back to Italy after serving a 41-month sentence for bankruptcy fraud and tax evasion. In news that should shock absolutely not a single living soul on the planet, Teresa Giudice has apparently said that she will not go to Italy to be with her husband if he’s deported. I am shocked (no I’m not, didn’t you read the first part) that rich-ass television personality Teresa doesn’t want to leave the only country in the world she is mildly relevant in. I am beside myself in astonishment. In other news: Water Is Wet. Continue reading