Three weeks after we laughed off the silly rumor that Kate Beckinsale and Pete Davidson were new boo things because they – GASP – left a Golden Globes party at the SAME TIME, it appears that despite no engagement ring in sight (yet), Kate and Pete are definitely a thing. Just give me a sec to process this highly important late BREAKING news!
It’s hard to imagine Naomi Campbell getting all soft and goofy over a boy. Yet she did, or at least she pretended to, recently when she exchanged kissy faces and heart emojis with Liam Payne, formally of One Direction. Now, according to Daily Star, things are getting serious and Naomi may even have been practicing writing “Mrs. Payne” in cursive on the inside of her Trapper Keeper (coincidentally, Mrs. Payne is also her dominatrix name). Naomi and Liam were spotted attending a concert together at London’s O2 Arena where they shared a private suite, reigniting rumors that the two have indeed been K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Put that in your Trapper Keeper and smoke it!
I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to make it through this post since my heart is shattering into a million tiny pieces, but Imma be strong. Apparently, forever bae Michael B. Jordan may or may not be dating actress KiKi Layne. The two were seen last Friday during the Sundance Film Festival and they looked like two people who enjoy being naked in a room on top of each other from time to time.
It was bad enough to feel solidly over the cusp of middle age when the teenage lads from One Direction broke up (or went on an indefinite hiatus, if you are a glass half full kind of Directioner). Then some of the boys started popping out babies and I felt down right Social Security recipient old. This morning I feel like the Cryptkeeper took a dump on my head with the news that Naomi Campbell and Liam Payne flirted. Yes, supermodel and professional phone thrower Naomi Campbell, age 48 and Liam Payne, 25 were flirting on Instagram so that 100% confirms that they are practically married already.
Sometimes when I go to Target, I want name-brand items, but my pockets always laugh and say, “Not today bitch!”, so I have to settle for the store brand called Market Pantry. Finding out that New Jersey Senator Cory Booker and actress/activist Rosario Dawson have been dating since December makes them the Market Pantry version of Barack and Michelle. But considering the alternative of our current first couple, I’ll take it! Gladly.
Despite Demi Lovato‘s recent plea to everyone to leave her the eff alone about her near death OD, there is one piece of personal info that she is happily serving up today. Demi has gone Instagram official with the news that she has upgraded her “sober companion” to her “slobber companion”, as she posted a video of her kissing her current purse holder, oh-so-edgy clothing designer Henri Levy.