Michiel Huisman (34)
Chace Crawford (30)
Ryan Cabrera (33)
Priyanka Chopra (33)
Kristen Bell (35)
Kelly Reilly (38)
Elsa Pataky (39)
M.I.A. (40)
Grant Bowler (47)
Vin Diesel (48)
Jim Bob Duggar (50)
Wendy Williams (51)
Elizabeth McGovern (54)
Audrey Landers (59)
Margo Martindale (64)
Richard Branson (65)
Martha Reeves (74)
James Brolin (75)
Paul Verhoeven (77)
Dick Button (86)

Pic: Mario Testino

And here’s the trailer for Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s latest Oscar bait movie and in every shot, he’s saying, “Oh please Academy member, oh please, gimme that Oscar. I will suck yo dick” with his eyes  – Lainey Gossip

I see that Kanye West is still styling Kim Kartrashian’s knocked up body – The Superficial

Oh, don’t mind, Peter Berg, he’s still playing the “this group is more heroic than this group” game – Towleroad

This chick throwing a bitchface at the trick who filmed her feeling the beat is all of us – Hollywood Tuna 

A SANS FARDS (yeah right) Kim Kartrashian is on the cover of Vogue Spain looking like she’s taking a boring shit – Reality Tea 

In “uh huh” news, Louis Tomlinson was drowning in pussy when he knocked up that lady friend – Celebitchy

Here comes the bride, all dressed in a neck brace and crutches – The Berry 

Rita Ora’s Virgin Mary tattoo looks like it’s throwing a side-eye and I agree with it – Drunken Stepfather

Nooooo, Sir Patrick and Sir Ian, don’t do it! – Just Jared

Brad Pitt joins Ryan Gosling in hating Costco’s caged chicken ways – ICYDK

That looks like a young James Haven behind Emily Ratatouille – Popoholic

Leighton Meester is still really, really pregnant – Popsugar

Uncut rugby dick alert – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Behold, the Mona Lisa of typos  – Jezebel

Bobby Flay and Stephanie March’s legal fight never reached Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry levels of fucking insane, but it got close thanks to them fighting over a fake tit job gone wrong, a damn racehorse and much, much more. Stephanie accused Bobby in court papers of sticking his ginger rod in January Jones’ ice box and in his assistant. If Bobby and Stephanie’s divorce fight was an opera, the gorgeous aria was the “CHEATER” banner that decorated the skies during his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony. Well, their divorce fight foolery is over now, because Bobby and Stephanie somehow came to an agreement and their 10 years marriage is officially done. The prenup stated that Stephanie gets $5,000 a month in spousal support for 5 years and she wanted more. TMZ says that Stephanie most likely got more than $5,000 a month, because Bobby probably wanted to avoid having the adventures of his wandering dick aired out in court. They farted out this joint statement to People:

“We have come to an amicable divorce settlement. We look forward to putting this difficult time behind us, and we ask that you respect our privacy as we move forward.”

Hmmm… Something in the milk ain’t clean about that statement. Amicable? Them? HA! People says that they released that statement together, but why do I have a feeling that one of them wrote it while standing over the other one’s dead body?

Overcompensating has a name and it’s Ariana Grande Latte.

The spawn of a gremlin and an Ever After High doll performed in Tampa, FL last night and she tried to make everyone forget about her “I hate America” comment in that donut store by declaring that the USA is the GREATEST COUNTRY IN DU WOOORLD! Um, we all know this trick is telling lies. Fiji is the greatest country in du world, because it has a dick-shaped island. (Although, that dick-shaped island looks more like a baby dinosaur hatching out of an egg.)

I won’t believe that Ariana Grande Latte truly has a giant spot for the USA in that cold baby demon heart of hers until I see her line dancing to a Steve Earle song next to Shia LaBeouf in a Stay USA Hotel parking lot while wearing a bald eagle costume. But seriously, Ariana’s cat ear-covered head obviously doesn’t get it. This isn’t about the anti-American shit she said. Who cares about that! This is about how she degraded the donuts with her devil venom. I will never EVER forgive her until I see her starring in a photo-op with Mr. Sprinkles during a meeting about donut tolerance.

Seven weeks after audiences walked out of theaters and hissed “I’m sorry I spent $13 on that pile of crap,” people are still apologizing for Aloha. Technically only one person has apologized, and it was Aloha director Cameron Crowe who said “I’m sorry” for casting Emma Stone as a quarter-Chinese, quarter-Hawaiian character named Allison Ng. But I’m also counting the pretend apology I got from the makers of Aloha for putting Kenny Powers in a movie set in Hawaii and not letting him whip around the island on a Jet Ski at least once.

Emma Stone recently spoke to News.au.com (via E! News) and talked about the whole Allison Ng situation. She didn’t exactly apologize, but she did want you to know she fully understands how much Emma Stone playing a part-Asian character made some people uncomfortably tug at their collars and say “Eeeeshhh.”

“I’ve become the butt of many jokes. I’ve learned on a macro level about the insane history of whitewashing in Hollywood and how prevalent the problem truly is. Its ignited a conversation that’s very important.”

“For example, I recently had a conversation with my agent about why they didn’t try to talk me out of signing on to such a disaster.” Emma didn’t actually say that, but I’m sure that’s a thing that definitely happened. She also talked about the other not-exactly-right thing that has happened several times to Emma Stone recently in her career: playing the love interest to a guy old enough to start worrying about his cholesterol.

“It’s rampant in Hollywood and it’s definitely been that way for a long time, both culturally and in movies. But in Irrational Man, the film is contingent upon the age difference; the movie is about that disparity. And when I did Magic in the Moonlight, Colin Firth and I talked about the gap which was huge, absolutely, because he was born the same year as my dad.”

She then added, “There are some flaws in the system. My eyes have been opened in many ways this year.” Be careful, girl. Don’t open your eyes too much, or they might fall right out of your face.

The L.A. County Jail should really make Suge Knight teach community college theater students how to bring the theatrics and raw drama in extra heavy doses, because he knows how it’s done. Since Suge has been in jail on murder charges, he has collapsed in the court room all extra dramatic-like, had a panic attack and appeared before a judge in a wheelchair, because what kind of cold-hearted judge is going to punish a weak soul in a wheelchair? Since the meanie judge has yet to take pity on Suge’s plight and transfer him from his jail cell to a suite at the Four Seasons, he has stepped it up. Suge is crying that his toilet is crazier than him and claims he might have a brain tumah.

Tom Mesereau, who represented Michael Jackson during that child touching trial, is Suge’s new lawyer and he recently filed papers asking for the Blanche DuBois of gangsters to be moved to a different cell. Suge is crying that his toilet is broken and flushes every 20 minutes all day and all night. Poor delicate, dew drop Suge doesn’t have a proper velvet settee to have his fainting spells upon and now he has to deal with a busted toilet disturbing his beauty sleep. Even the toilet is sick of his shit.

On top of Suge’s possessed toilet woes, he also claims that doctors think he could have a brain tumor since he regularly experiences numbness on the side of his body. That numbness could merely be from Suge sleeping on a cheap jail cot instead of an Egyptian cotton-covered mattress filled with swan feathers like he’s used to. Suge asked that his new cell be in a jail that has access to a medical facility.

The judge is still not taking pity on Suge’s plight. The judge denied Suge’s transfer request, so he’ll have to continue to deal with the sound of the ones he’s wronged saying, “Suuuuuuge, Iiiiiii’m goooooing to geeeeet youuuuu,” through the haunted toilet. The judge also denied Suge’s request to lower his $10 billion bail.

So what now? Suge can either borrow a stunt from fellow jail bird drama queen Roxie Hart by faking a pregnancy or he can start working on an escape plan by wooing a sad and desperate jail house sewing teacher whose clit gets the throbs for diabolical rap mogul dick.