Felicity Huffman Is Already Out Of Prison After Only 11 Days
Felicity Huffman was scheduled to be out this weekend from her 14-day prison sentence for her involvement in the college admissions scandal. Felicity was one of the super rich people faking their children’s credentials through varying means of wealthy-trickery (AKA fraud/bribery) and pleaded guilty to charges brought against her for faking her daughters SAT scores. This earned her a cute lil trip to FCI Dublin in Northern California which actually turned out to be even lil’er than initially planned. Hopefully, Felicity heard Martha Stewart’s advice and upped the prison glamour before doing the slap on the wrist sashay out of the clink!
TMZ says that Felicity is out after only 11 days in prison! Apparently there’s a policy where inmates with weekend release dates get let out on Friday. Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of daycare-ass-prison was this? Whatever, I don’t even believe in corporal punishment but… wow. She still has to do her 250 hours of community service, though; so expect more pap shots of her picking up garbage or whatever. I wonder if Felicity will celebrate freedom by having dinner with John Legend?
But before Felicity got to stroll out of prison while singing Debbie Deb’s Lookout Weekend, she made a friend. TMZ got pics of her going for a jaunt around the yard with a fellow prisoner yesterday.
Felicity Huffman Hanging With Inmates in Prison Yard https://t.co/tNONa6eCPg
— TMZ (@TMZ) October 24, 2019
I know, can you believe? Lynette Scavo getting to know the other soccer moms in jail? I don’t know if we’re supposed to be shocked about this? What do we expect Felicity to be doing? Reading in the corner? This was her moment! This was her literal Orange Is The New Black moment! That woman wrote the book because of her prison time! Felicity will have no material for her comeback interviews/book/Vanity Fair article if she didn’t actually get out into the prison and absorb prison life! Like duh!
Hopefully this gave Lori Loughlin more insight into what it’s going to be like when it’s her turn. Like this prison-paparazzi must have been personally working for Lori getting her all the deets about rich woman prison life. Hope you were paying him daily, otherwise he just got three free days work out of you, eh? Now Lori knows she’ll have to go on walks with the inmates to drum up publicity while in jail. She already took down Martha’s note and has some sketches for how she’d edit that awful prison lewk. She’ll be spending more time there than Felicity after all, so she’ll get more use out of it–don’t wanna look “schlumpy”!
Pic: Wenn.com