The Daily Mail reports that the couple who has never really confirmed they’re a couple, Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson, set the world and genitals on fire when they went out to the store and picked up the essentials: toothpaste, laundry detergent, and a sex bench. Cara and her maybe-girlfriend got papped hauling a sex bench into their home in Los Angeles, but like who hasn’t bought a sex bench? I once thought about buying a sex couch but that was mostly because yes, it’s ergonomic design was perfect for sexual activity and fanciful body positions, but it was also perfect for being stoned playing video games in. Maybe that’s what’s happening here? Although, once you see the bench… probably not.
29-year-old Ashley and 26-year-old Cara went out for a day of shopping in LA. The paparazzi were there to watch as Cara and Ashley unpacked their purchases and noticed that among them was a very high-class sex bench:
Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson are seen carrying a leather SEX BENCH into their Hollywood home https://t.co/avkryMyrKJ
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) May 29, 2019
Now this is a good way to kick off Pride month.
Well, if this was Pretty Little Liars that wouldn’t even be a sex bench in that box it would be the body of someone the girls both knew! Someone needs to inspect their house! Who’s missing?!
Of course once we saw these girls unloading the sex bench people needed to go out and learn all about it.
The Master Series Faux Leather Sex Bench with Adjustable Restraints is available from many places, like Amazon.com, for example, and it retails for like $700 but get it quick y’all–it’s on sale for like $400. And also there’s an optional machine-gun dildo for $500 which you can get as well.
No wonder Ashley and Cara could not stop laughing as they unpacked this shit from the car. They knew this was going to hit the tabloids. Their pricey-ass sex bench… like, is it just me? Or do these pictures of the girl in the sex bench look like those robot dogs science has developed? Maybe this is actually some kind of high-tech cosplay? Cara or Ashley is dressing up as a robot dog? …Maybe that’s also for sex? Like robot-pup play?! These two are freaky!