Pint-sized podcaster Rachel Bilson likes to overshare. Perhaps it’s because she wants to remind everyone she’s a grown-ass woman and not the same doe-eyed kewpie doll from the early aughts during The OC. Rachel has had a few romances and experienced a smorgasbord of sexy times up until now. However, she didn’t experience her walls coming down in a smattering of panty pudding until she was in her late thirties. And in a recent conversation on her Broad Ideas podcast with comedian Whitney Cummings (whose surname makes her the perfect guest for this episode), 41-year-old Rachel admitted she had no idea what a real orgasm was until she was 38. Yes, only a few years ago. Cut to all eyes on her ex, Bill “Big Dick” Hader.
Here’s a little nugget, or should I say big nugget, for your Hump Day. If you ever clocked Bill Hader’s sixhead and thought, “Yup, BDE,” then you were correct. That’s what his ex Rachel Bilson says anyway and she jokes (or was it a joke?!) that she still misses it. Although the two of them haven’t been a couple since the beginning of 2020, Rachel is still dickmatized and when asked if she misses Bill himself Rachel admits that Bill’s cool, but his bulging billy club is the real reason she cries salty tears into the wee hours of the morning.
Rachel Bilson is keeping herself sorta relevant by hosting a The O.C. rewatch podcast with Melinda Clarke (Marissa’s mom) called Welcome to the O.C., Bitches. Marissa’s dad/hottie of yesteryear, Tate Donovan, guested on the most recent episode, and Rachel took the opportunity to formally apologize for her past behavior. You see, after Tate’s character left the show, he returned to direct a third season episode. And Rachel admits that at the time, she and the other young stars of the show were “little assholes.” Give yourself a break, Rach, it was Hollywood in the early 2000s! T’was the season!
For those of you who forgot that Bill Hader and Rachel Bilson are a thing, I’m here to remind you that they WERE and the emphasis on the WERE since they apparently broke up. Bill Hader is 42 and Rachel Bilson is 38 so maybe the universe threw a lightning bolt to their union after thinking, “Wait, a 40-something Hollywood dude is not dating a 19-year-old Instagram model? This is unnatural and not right. End it! End it!”
I don’t know what all the horny Bill Hader fans out there call themselves (Bill Loverds? Drew Barrywhores? I’ll have to do some research). But last night was not a great night for them. Because the red carpet of the 2020 Golden Globes was where Bill Hader and his girlfriend Rachel Bilson decided to let the world officially know they’re dating.
This will be terrible news for all the people who recently realized that Bill Hader is hot, and were really enjoying the guilt-free wet dreams they were having. TMZ says that Bill Hader is probably most certainly taken at the moment, and he’s with Rachel Bilson.