Russell Crowe Got Into A Twitter Fight With Virgin Airlines Over A Hoverboard

Well, now we know there’s at least one Christmas hoverboard out there that didn’t end up confiscated by an ER nurse or slowly melting into a flaming pile of motorized plastic.

Because hoverboards (which don’t actually hover, but WHATEVER) were this year’s Tickle Me Elmo or Totally Hair Barbie, the internet was filled with people bragging that Santa brought them Segue’s less-dorky cousin. Of course, that means there are also some people out there who woke up Christmas morning and found a knock-off hoverboard-style GlidePlank™ under their tree. (As someone who got Gobots in their stocking, I feel you). Anyway, all that matters is that Russell Crowe’s sons Tennyson and Charles are members of the hoverboard club, and Russell got all Russell Crowe-y when he found out that you can’t bring that shit on an airplane.

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Michael Jackson Prank Called Russell Crowe For Three Years

Either Russell Crowe is telling the truth and he’s a useless shit for not recording those golden nuggets to later gift the world with or bitch did a lot of LSD.

The bearded Kiwi walrus did an interview with The Guardian to promote his directorial debut The Water Diviner and while talking to them about stuff, he told them that Michael Jackson used to prank call him for years. Russell Crowe punching the air while screaming “Crikey, he got me again!” after MJ crank called him is something I thought only existed in a fever dream.

“For two or three fucking years,” he says. “I never met him, never shook his hand, but he found out the name I stayed in hotels under, so it didn’t matter where I was, he’d ring up do this kind of thing, like you did when you were 10, you know. ‘Is Mr Wall there? Is Mrs Wall there? Are there any Walls there? Then what’s holding the roof up? Ha ha.’ You’re supposed to grow out of doing that, right?”

How did Michael Jackson find out what hotel Russell Crowe was staying at? (Possible answer: Detective La Toya can track down anyone!) If Russell was so annoyed by Michael Jackson’s prank calling, why didn’t he just check in with a different fake name? (Possible answer: Because Russell Crowe is in dim in the brains and was outsmarted by MJ over and over again!) How did Russell Crowe know it was Michael Jackson? (Possible answer: Because he’d always hear a bunch of giggling boys in the background.) Well, I guess when you’re Michael Jackson and the Jesus Juice is flowing during a slumber party at Neverland, you have fun by prank calling Russell Crowe. I can’t wait to hear other random stories about how MJ toilet papered Jean-Claude Van Damme’s house and poured Rice Krispies all over Anne Archer’s front lawn.

And this explains why Russell Crowe threw that hotel desk phone.

Here’s Russell with Olga Kurylenko at a photo call for The Water Diviner in Madrid the other day.

Pics: Wenn.com

Meryl Streep Had A Few Things To Say About Russell Crowe’s “Actresses Should Play Their Age” Comment

And Tracey Ullman was the best part of Meryl Streep’s response. But before we get into the wonder that is Tracey Ullman’s facial expressions….

Russell Crowe recently told The Australian Women’s Weekly that he’s too old to play the Gladiator, and he added that actresses who complain that there aren’t any roles for them are usually the ones who are in their 40s and still want to play the young ingenue. (I see Russell Crowe throwing belated shade at Joan Crawford for playing her daughter’s role in that soap. Bitch is going to get a wire hanger slap from the great beyond.) I wish Russell felt the same way about actors in movie musicals. Because if he felt that you should be able to sing if you’re going to be in a movie musical, my ears would have never been traumatized by his walrus warble in Les Miserables. Here’s a piece of what Russell said. You can read the entire thing here.

“The best thing about the industry I’m in – movies – is that there are roles for people in all different stages of life. To be honest, I think you’ll find that the woman who is saying that (the roles have dried up) is the woman who at 40, 45, 48, still wants to play the ingénue, and can’t understand why she’s not being cast as the 21 year old. Meryl Streep will give you 10,000 examples and arguments as to why that’s bullshit, so will Helen Mirren, or whoever it happens to be.”

Russell got a lot of hotel desk phones thrown at him for saying that, because many of the good, lead female roles are for youngins and the older roles usually go to Meryl Streep. Russell really shouldn’t have used Meryl Streep as an example. She’s in her own category. If she wanted to play a Japanese baby boy in a movie, they’d probably let her. She’s Meryl Fucking Streep.

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Quelle Surprise: Giuliana Rancic Says Russell Crowe Was Awful To Interview

I’ve been on both sides of an interview (and not the kind that start with “Is there something wrong, officer?” and end with “THAT CLAP-HAVING JEZEBEL KNOWS WHAT SHE DID!!”) and one thing I know for sure is that the only thing worse than being asked pointless bullshit questions is being the one who asks said questions. If I had a nickel for every time I asked “What would you say your greatest weakness is?” through an awful forced smile, I’d have enough nickels to finally afford the miracle to bring my soul back from the dead.

So naturally I assumed that someone like Giuliana Rancic must surely be completely dead inside or  robot or one of the bug aliens from Men in Black disguised as a human, because why in the hell would you ever want to ask people stupid questions for a living. But apparently she’s a real person with feelings, feelings that once got trampled on and nearly squished to death during an interview. On Wednesday night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live, Googlyeyna Rancic was asked who her most awkward interview was, and the winner was human ingrown toenail Russell Crowe:

“[He] was so mean to me. I had been at E! for a year, and I literally was like, ‘I’m gonna go easy because he’s pretty tough.’ And so I said, ‘Are you excited to be here tonight? Your big movie premiere?’ And he goes, ‘I’m contractually obligated to be here. What’s your next question?’ And I go ‘Um, isn’t it wonderful seeing all the fans?’ And he goes, ‘That’s your second question? 1, 2, you’re through!’ And walked away.”

Ironically, on the other side of the globe, Russell Crowe appeared on a show called Watch This, Will Ya Mate? where he talked about his best interview:

“There was this American girl from the E! channel who looked like a beautiful brunette grasshopper, and I never once called her a cunt or a fucking twat, or threw a phone at her face, or punched her in the nose or anything! I couldn’t believe it! Me, Russell Crowe, talking to another human without getting into a physical altercation! Yeah, it was definitely a personal best.”

George Clooney On Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCatchAHo, His Main Homegirl Brad Pitt And Twitter

In the December issue of Esquire (via The Daily Mail), George Clooney his eyeballs at that fake bitch Russell Crowe, shows no love for Leonardo DiCaprio’s Pussy Posse and draws a heart around a picture of his forever bromate Brad Pitt.

A few years ago, bloated walrus Russell Crowe figuratively threw a hotel phone at George’s head when he called Clooney a sellout for getting a quick check by filming foreign commercials. Russell also called George a Frank Sinatra wannabe. George told Esquire that Russell later tried to apologize by sending him a book of poetry (the fuck?) and pulled his dick all the way by saying he was misquoted. George was not impressed with Russell’s little fake apology and probably used the pages from that book of poetry to wipe down his just-used strap-on.

“And that’s when he really went off on me. ‘Who the fuck does this guy think he is? He’s a Frank Sinatra wannabe.’ He really went after me. The truth is that [Russell Crowe] did send me a book of poems to apologize for insulting the shit out of me, which he did. I think he said “I was misquoted” and I was like, ‘Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”‘

You know George made a W with his fingers when he said “whatever.” I always thought George was more of a Dionne, but I guess he’s more of an Ambular.

After George finished calling out Russell, he spilled some shit about Leo. George and his friends once played a basketball game against Leo and the Pussy Posse. Before the game, the Pussy Posse said they were going to “kick some ass.” George didn’t like this and let out a cackle when he and his friends won 11-0.

“And the discrepancy between their game and how they talked about their game made me think of how important it is to have someone in your life to tell you what’s what. I’m not sure if Leo has someone like that.”

Yeah, I’m sure Leo surrounds himself with ass-sucking hos who tell him that his farts smell like strawberries and cream, but so does George (see: Sarah Larson, Stacy Keibler, that other one, that other one and the other ones I am so not going to Google) I’m sure AND it was just a damn game of basketball. It’s not that serious. George acts like a stupid game of  basketball is as sacred as a game of Mall Madness.

When George finished slightly dragging Leo and Russell, he blew air kisses at Brad for suffering through all the re-shoots for World War Z (WHY WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE RICH MALE MOVIE STARS?!!!). And George said this about why he’s not on Twatter:

“Why on God’s green earth would you be in Twitter? I mean, when you see, like, Ashton Kutcher coming out and going, you know, “Everybody leave Joe Paterno alone,” or whatever he said, you just go “Fifteen minutes longer and a thought process and probably you wouldn’t have done that.”

“…IN Twitter?” George just has to tell me that my gut doesn’t look as big as usual and he’d officially be my mom. IN Twitter!

I can’t co-sign everything that spilled out of George’s mouth, but I love it when grown rich dudes talk shit about each other. Fuck the GOOP vs. Vanity Fair feud. This award season is going to be all about watching George throw bitchy mean girl looks at those skanks Leo and Russell. I can’t wait for the Golden Globes when the camera will pan to George and Russell coldly hugging in the audience as George says to Russell, “Ew, I can totally see your split ends.” And George is totally going to try to steal Lukas Haas from Leo and if Danielle Spencer wasn’t 10 years too old, he’d try to snatch her away from Russell and hire her as his award season escort.

Here’s George and others (including Lupita Nyong’o, Borat, Ralph Fiennes and Kelly Rowland’s tits) at the BAFTA LA Britannia Awards last night.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

The Time Russell Crowe Told Rebel Wilson To Eff Off

If you’re wondering if Russell Crowe still barks at nearly every trick he comes across, he does! Rebel Wilson was on The Tonight Show on Tuesday night and talked about how when she was younger she won the the Nicole Kidman Scholarship at the Australian Theatre for Young People. Years later, Rebel was at a restaurant in Sydney and saw Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe eating together. Rebel wanted to thank Nicole, so she sashayed up to the table and before she could say one word, the throbbing, pus-filled, hairy taint wart greeted her the way he greets everyone!

“One time in Sydney, I saw her having dinner with Russell Crowe and I go, ‘OK, now’s my chance. I’m going to say thank you. I went up to them but, before I could say anything, Russell Crowe turns to me and says, ‘Fuck off!’ I just put my head down and walked the other way….. But thanks, Nicole!”

The hell did Rebel Wilson expect? It’s Russell Crowe…. and he’s got a plate of food in front of him…. and she’s coming at him. You never mess with Russell Crowe and when he’s got a plate of food in front of him, you take two steps back.

Russell Crowe was just being Russell Crowe. Bitch curses out baby birds that fly too close to him. Bitch screams at kittens that look at him too long. Bitch doesn’t have ass lips anymore, because he raged them off a long time ago. Rebel is lucky he only cursed her out. At least he didn’t throw a phone at her or even worse, sing live for her.

via Yahoo