After reading that headline, I know what you’re thinking: “Maybe it had to do with you being an asshole?” But even years after their divorce, Caitlyn Jenner––for absolutely no reason other than to ~seemingly~ keep her name out there––is still talking about her marriage to Kris Jenner in the most recent episode of Rob Lowe’s podcast, “Why? Literally! With Rob Lowe”.
Goopy Paltrow, seen above doing a perfect impersonation of you every time you see the name “Gwyneth Paltrow” in a headline, is back to give you more material for when your eyes are feeling like they need a good eye-rolling workout. We already know that Goopy could teach a MasterClass on sucking when it comes to giving medical advice, but apparently, Rob Lowe’s wife Sheryl Berkoff taught her how to do a different kind of sucking. If Goopy told me water is wet, I’d need to consult with several water professionals and fish before believing her since bullshit regularly makes an appearance on the tip of her tongue, but I believe her about Sheryl Berkoff. I mean, Sheryl is such a bj aficionado that she married a dude with BLOW in his name.
Dax Shepard had Rob Lowe on his podcast, Armchair Expert, and the two talked about drugs, specifically talking to their kids about doing drugs. Both Dax and Rob have been sober for a while. And Dax said that since he knows drugs, he’s going to use his expertise to let his daughters, 7-year-old Lincoln and 5-year-old Delta Bell, know that they should really only stick with booze, shrooms, and weed. Dax has flipped the iconic “I Learned It By Watching You” anti-drug PSA upside down by telling his kids to yes, learn from him by staying away from the hard stuff.
Rob Lowe Says Tom Cruise Went “Ballistic” And Refused To Share A Hotel Room With Him During “The Outsiders”
Because people like to please pretty people, Rob Lowe has probably been told his entire life that he’s also smart and funny. Therefore, Rob has jokes for days and thinks he’s cute. And while his jokes are terrible, he has perfected the art of the petty drag. Which I appreciate! According to People, Rob was feeling especially shady on a recent episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepherd and praised Tom Cruise’s “wherewithal” for always knowing he’d be a star by telling a story about Tom going “ballistic” at the thought of sharing a hotel room with him during the audition process for The Outsiders. Rob reaching all the way back 1983 to take a little shit on Tom is the 2020 content that dreams are made of given that aspirations for 2020 are at an all-time low.
The vacant “whooshing” white noise you heard last night was Fred Savage’s new Fox show What Just Happened??! traveling through the airwaves and missing damn near every single antenna, fiber, cable, and internet tube that might have brought it into the homes of viewers. It tanked. Spectacularly. According to The Wrap, “a mere 809,000 total viewers watched” the season premier, and judging from the reactions it received on Twitter, none of those viewers liked what they saw.
Chris Pratt must have taken his BFF Rob Lowe by the elbow and whispered, “Listen dude, super sick hair, as always. But careful bro, your pretty privilege is showing.” Because Rob Lowe is walking back those comments he made last month in which he gagged like a disgusted middle school girl at the thought of Prince William’s lack of hair.