In Case You Wanted To Know Who Taught Gwyneth Paltrow How To Give A Blowjob
Goopy Paltrow, seen above doing a perfect impersonation of you every time you see the name “Gwyneth Paltrow” in a headline, is back to give you more material for when your eyes are feeling like they need a good eye-rolling workout. We already know that Goopy could teach a MasterClass on sucking when it comes to giving medical advice, but apparently, Rob Lowe’s wife Sheryl Berkoff taught her how to do a different kind of sucking. If Goopy told me water is wet, I’d need to consult with several water professionals and fish before believing her since bullshit regularly makes an appearance on the tip of her tongue, but I believe her about Sheryl Berkoff. I mean, Sheryl is such a bj aficionado that she married a dude with BLOW in his name.
Goopy was on Rob podcast, Literally! With Rob Lowe, to I guess promote her Eau de Goopy Crème candle. While talking with Rob, Goopy praised his wife of almost 30 years, Sheryl Berkoff. Goopy knew Sheryl before she married Rob. Sheryl is a makeup artist and worked on Goopy’s mom Blythe Danner for a TV movie when Goopy was a teenager. Goopy was around 15 or 16 at the time, and Sheryl is around 12 years older, so Sheryl would’ve been 27 or 28. Goopy fell in love with Sheryl’s coolness and how Sheryl treated her like an adult and again, gave her a lesson in Beej 101… when Sheryl was in her 20s and Goopy was a teen… via People:
“I met Sheryl when I was 15 or 16,” the Politician actress said. “She was doing my mom’s makeup on this TV movie, and I went down to visit. It was in Florida. I met Sheryl, and I was like immediately obsessed with her.”
“First of all, she was dating Keanu Reeves, who was my celebrity crush. And she was so cool,” Paltrow continued. “And she knew that I was sneaking cigarettes, and she would come smoke with me behind the trailer, and she taught me how to give a blow job, and you know, all the classic Sheryl stuff.”
“I just worshipped her. I thought she was literally the coolest chick of all time,” she said, adding that she appreciated how Berkoff treated her like an adult. “She was so awesome to me. And I was a high school kid. Like, the fact that she’s loved me that much before I was anyone or anything, you know?”
Paltrow didn’t share with Lowe the specifics of what Berkoff told her, saying, “It was less about remembering the technique — although I’m sure that I implemented it the first chance I got.”
“Um, Professor Sheryl, can you also give a lesson to the asshole who wrote this post?” asked all my ex-boyfriends.
And I really hope that Goopy returned the favor and later taught Sheryl how to master the art of licking your own ass since Goopy has mastered that too.
Pics: Wenn.com