Goop-Approved Vagina Steaming Left A Woman With Severe Burns

August 8, 2019 / Posted by:

Goop’s greatest gift to the world is that Gwyneth Paltrow will forever be associated with things you shouldn’t be doing with your vagina. According to the New York Post, a woman in Canada tore a page out of Gwyneth’s best selling self-help book “Zen And The Art Of Meat Curtain Maintenance” and wound up with “severe second-degree burns” on her vagina after an at-home steam treatment. You’d think common sense and centuries of evolutionary learned behavior would have you thinking twice before plopping your pussy down on a pot of boiling water, but given #thesetryingtimes, common sense and any gains in intelligence we may have made over the past few millennia are pretty much out the window.

Unlike yoga and amicable divorce, Gwyneth didn’t actually invent vagina steaming. But in 2015, she did enthusiastically extol its virtues claiming a procedure available at Tikkun Spa called the Mugworth V-Steam could “balance female hormone levels” and cleanse your disgusting uterus, describing it as an “energetic release”. It’s sad the lengths wealthy people will go to, to get what poor people can achieve by having a decent orgasm and a toke. But as much as we’d like to give full credit to Gwyneth for what happened to this poor woman’s vagina, we can’t. The woman who was burned was advised to try an at-home knock off version of Gwyneth’s beloved Mugworth V-Steam by her traditional Chinese doctor.

The 62-year-old woman’s traditional Chinese doctor advised her to mix an herbal medicine blend in a pan of boiling water and sit over it for 20 minutes. The woman told her doctors she did this twice, then sought a second opinion — at which point doctors found she had sustained the second-degree burns.

If only this woman had sprung for the real deal. At $50 a pop, she could have enjoyed having a hole burned in her wallet like these suckers, instead of having her coin purse scorched!

Now available for men!

Pic: Instagram

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