Category: Sore Balls

Nick Cannon Admits He Mixed Up Some Of The Mother’s Day Cards For The Moms Of His 12 Kids

May 16, 2023 / Posted by:

Mega-sperm carrier Nick Cannon recently assured everyone that he didn’t fumble his past marriage to Mariah Carey, but it looks like he admittedly DID fumble Mother’s Day for at least a few of the six mothers of his 12 children this year. So if there was still any notion that he’s been handling this mass re-population effort he’s perplexingly spearheaded, well, the answer is “definitely not” if his mixing up of the handwritten Mother’s Day cards he attempted to hand out is any indication.

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Shia LaBeouf Gets Kicked In The Boeuf

October 13, 2013 / Posted by:

I love it when the jokes write themselves.  Shia LaBeouf is infamous for trying to bring the heat down on a bitch, and it usually ends up with him at the ER to have said bitch’s foot removed from his ass.  This time is much different!!  He had to have bitch’s foot removed from his vagina.  Gossip Cop says that while walking through Leicester Square in London (he’s there to film Fury), Shia decided it was a great idea to film some girl while she was puking her guts up on the street.  Such class acts, everyone involved.

According to the article, sisters Ash and Isis Nawaz were walking along when one of them “fell ill” (read: couldn’t handle her Mojitos) and luckily for them Shia was there to point and laugh at their asses while saving the moment for posterity’s sake.  I don’t know much, but one thing I do know is that the pile of vomit had more character and tact in one lump than Shia has in his whole body.

Of course the women told Shia to gtfo, but he wasn’t having any of that until a bystander did what most of us can only dream of – he punched Shia in the face and kicked him in the peen hole!!  Yaaaas!!  Which raises the important question: where is the footage of that???  Anyone there with a cell phone missed an opportunity to make the world a better place.  Shame on all of you.  Anyway after club security broke up the mess, aka pulled the other dude off of Shia while he pretended that he was being held back, Shia carried his broke dick out of there.

Shia reminds me of my Grandma’s chihuahua that thinks she’s a pit bull.  Bark on little bitch!


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