Shots Fired! Karl Lagerfeld Called Thee Meryl Streep “Cheap”

It’s been much too long since we’ve gotten a random feud that is like Valium for the soul, and thankfully Kunty Karl ended the drought by going after Meryl Streep about a couture dress. I’m not sure who I should direct my, “You in danger, girl,” comment at.

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Meanwhile, In London….

We’ve been shitting up post after post from last night’s Adele Appreciation Ceremony (Featuring Adele Appreciating Beyonce), but another awards show happened yesterday. Two weeks before Hollywood gets dressed up in $15,000 gowns to lick each other’s taints and jack one another off at the Oscars, they got into $15,000 gowns to lick each other’s taints and jack one another off at the BAFTAs last night.

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Donald Trump Pouted On Twitter After Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes Speech

It didn’t take long for Donald Trump to fire up those stubby little fingers of his and slap back at Meryl Streep for hurting his feelings. Shortly after Meryl called him out during her Cecil B. DeMille award acceptance speech at the Golden Globes last night, the President-elect got all angry and hissed back.

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Next Year, Meryl Streep Will Win A Golden Globe (And An Oscar) For This Speech

Viola Davis, who won the Best Supporting Actress Golden Globe for Fences, presented Meryl Streep with the Cecil B. DeMille award at the GGs tonight and her introduction was some Tony Award-worthy shit. Viola delivered several layers of THEATER! I wondered how Meryl Streep herself was going to follow that up, and then she went up to the mic and snatched the road kill carcass on Donald Trump’s head without even saying his name.

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Things I Can Still Hear: The Scream That Meryl Streep Let Out Last Night

Yesterday was the second day of the Democratic National Convention, and out was Susan Sarandon looking like she’d rather felch a porcupine who just ate Taco Bell than listen to speakers throw out praise for Hillary Clinton. In was Meryl Streep squealing out a pro-Hillary battle cry of joy while double fisting the air and working one of her old patriotic looks.

Hillary Clinton officially became the first woman to be nominated for President of the United States by a major party yesterday, and her man Bill Clinton, and his Fashion Fair Perfect Finish® mug, were the headliners of the night. But before and after Ole’ Bubba’s speech, he had many opening acts and a few closing acts including Elizabeth Banks, America Ferrera, Alicia Keys, Lena Dunham, Debra Messing (who surprisingly didn’t put her taunting hands on the side of her head while saying, “Na na na na na na na, Susan!“, into the camera) and THEE MERYL STREEP!

Meryl followed Bill and when she took the podium, she let out the kind of scream-cry of happiness that I let out whenever the Henny Penny episode of The Golden Girls comes on the Hallmark Channel. As Meryl spoke, those flag poles in the back thought to themselves, “Of COURSE that shady Meryl Streep had to steal our look and work it better.”

Yes, Meryl Streep has been nominated for an Oscar 19 times, has starred in a zillion movies and is considered by many to be the greatest living actress (those many obviously haven’t seen Gina Gershon’s work in Showgirls), but the Republican National Convention had Scott Baio. And did Meryl Streep have a starring role in Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2? I think not. So, sorry, DNC, you tried it, but the RNC still won the category of STAR POWER!

And here’s Meryl Streep working her Catherine Malandrino American flag dress to a screening of Doubt in 2008.

Pics: Splash

So, Here’s Meryl Streep In Donald Trump Drag

Since Donald Trump is officially probably going to be the Republican candidate for POTUS, expect to see every actor, comedian and famous trick do their own impersonation of him from now until the election ends, and even beyond that. Last night, it was 600-time Oscar winner Meryl Streep’s turn to smear Paprika all over her face and drop a dead ran-over guinea pig on top of her head to play Jabba the Trump.

Meryl played Trump and Christine Baranski played Hillary Clinton while singing a song together at the Public Theater Gala in Central Park in NYC. They sang Brush Up Your Shakespeare from the musical Kiss Me Kate. Clips ended up on Twitter:

More of Meryl and Christine Baranski doing Trump and HRC pic.twitter.com/t7jgNsf74d

— Jacob Bernstein (@BernsteinJacob) June 7, 2016

I’ll probably be jailed for saying this about the world’s greatest Thespian, but judging solely by that blurry video, I’m not getting Donald Trump. I’m getting accidental toilet baby of The Penguin and Jiminy Glick. You know, now that I think about it, Donald Trump IS the accidental toilet baby of The Penguin and Jiminy Glick. So Meryl nailed it! As for the look, I’m not really getting Donald Trump. I’m getting grown-up Augustus Gloop after Chester the Cheetah blew a giant Cheetos dust fart into his face. You know, now that I think about that too, Donald Trump IS a grown-up Augustus Gloop after Chester the Cheetah blew a giant Cheetos dust fart into his face. Meryl nailed it all around!

Christine Baranski, on the other hand…. Christine’s Hillary Clinton drag is very, “I’m Christine Fucking Baranski and I’m not going to wear a helmet hair wig and some baggy pantsuit!”

Pics: Getty