Category: Mark Consuelos
Mark Consuelos Got Into A Fight At His Kid’s Wrestling Match
Mark Consuelos, whom you might find more identifiable if I type “Kelly Ripa’s husband”, was attending their 16-year-old son Joaquin’s wrestling tournament and got pissed off enough at Junior’s opponent to storm the mat. Yeah, he’s one of those dads. It’s nice to report that only words were exchanged and no fisticuffs or, yikes, murder broke out. Calm ya tits and find your seat, Mateo from All My Children, it’s not that serious.
As Always, “Live With Kelly And Ryan” Went All-Out For Halloween
In the event there is any confusion, I should point out that the Gomez to Kelly Ripa’s Morticia is her husband Mark Consuelos. That’s what you call extremely appropriate and very on brand. When else besides Halloween can morning TV’s horniest married couple dress up as TV’s spookiest horny married couple? Shockingly, no one made a “Wanna see my Thing?” joke. I guess 10am is too early for Halloween-themed boner humor on ABC?
Kelly Ripa And Mark Consuelos’ 18-Year-Old Daughter Walked In On Them Getting It On
48-year-olds Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos may not be as spry as they were in their twenties, but don’t think that means they’ve stopped fucking. Far from it. Mark filled in for Ryan Seacrest on Live! With Kelly And Ryan and boy did they have a Father’s Day story for us that I’m sure Kelly was oozing with happiness to tell. One that involves their newly-18-year-old daughter Lola getting as a gift a full view of her parents having sex. Can’t put a price tag on trauma like that.
Kelly Ripa Will Play Her Husband’s Mistress On “Riverdale”
Here’s one for all the haters that told Kelly Ripa she was too old to get with Mark Consuelos. Not only is she getting with him in real life as his wife, but TV Line is reporting that Kelly will be hooking up with Mark on Riverdale as his mistress.
Mark plays Hiram Lodge, father of Veronica Lodge, who is (SPOILER ALERT) currently locked up. His wife is Hermione Lodge. Kelly will play a character called Mrs. Mulwray, and she’ll appear on tonight’s episode. The CW confirmed the news, saying:
“Kelly Ripa will guest star on Riverdale as MRS. MULWRAY: Confident and tough, she is Hiram Lodge’s alleged mistress. She’s a beautiful, icy, femme fatale who gets caught up in a conspiracy that’s much bigger than she initially realized.”
Kelly and Michael’s 21-year-old son Michael Consuelos will also appear on the episode. He’ll be in a flashback to the 90’s and will play a younger version of his dad. Kelly posted the news on Instagram yesterday (with Mark reportedly commenting “Yes please“) with her looking like the least popular cast member of Real Home Wreckers of Riverdale.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp2zz_pBIMN/?utm_source=ig_embed
What The CW forgot to add was anything about how this is the most obvious example of shameless stunt casting in the history of The CW. I’m pretty sure The CW’s main audience is still about 9 months away from their learner’s permit, and here they are, courting all their moms. Don’t tell me I’m wrong on this one: you know at least 98% of the Live With Kelly and Ryan audience have been dreaming of watching Kelly get nasty with Mark ever since they watched all that PG-rated role playing on last month’s Halloween episode.
Pic: Wenn.com
What Some Of The Daytime Talk Shows Did For Halloween
There are few things more American than the enduring tradition of daytime talk show Halloween hi-jinks. You take a bunch of middle-aged talking heads, a squad of professional makeup artists and costume designers, and a squealing studio audience; put ‘em in a pop culture blender on puree and voila! Whoopi Goldberg dressed as a purple baby vampire. And there’s no getting out of it at this point. It’s a whole thing now, everybody must participate. Do you think Ryan Seacrest enjoys sitting in a makeup chair for three hours and getting cinched up in a corset? I don’t know his life! But he does it whether he likes it or not.
Andy Cohen Once Had A Threesome With A Married Straight Couple. Hmmmmm, I Wonder Who He’s Talking About….
Alternate headline: CLICK BAIT! CLICK BAIT! CLICK BAIT! CLICK BAIT!
The shifty don of the Housewives, Andy Cohen, is putting out his 46,789th memoir called Superficial: More Adventures from the Andy Cohen Diaries, in November and The Daily Mail got a few excerpts. Most of the excerpts come from the department of DUH, like Andy writes that before taping the reunion, all of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills turn their insides into a CVS pharmacy by downing a bunch of pills. Anybody with eyes that can see, ears that can hear and a sense of reason knows those bitches are pilled up to the ends of the earth. But Andy does write about how two years ago, he decided that he didn’t want to die without his dick kissing a chocha, so he had a threesome with a blonde woman and her muscular husband. SPOILER ALERT: It wasn’t Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, or so Andy claims…