Category: I’m Not Surprised

Elizabeth McGovern Says Being With Sean Penn Was “Exhausting”

January 24, 2022 / Posted by:

Elizabeth McGovern isn’t just one of the very fancy Countess from Downton Abbey – she’s also an actress who has had a really long career that began in the 80s. I’m pretty sure that almost all actors from the 1980s have a story about Sean Penn, in one way or another (Sean Penn did all my coke, Sean Penn stole my car while high on coke, Sean Penn borrowed my favorite leather jacket from the backseat of my car after he stole it and returned it without a single ounce of coke in the pockets). But Elizabeth has many stories because they dated for a while. The biggest takeaway from dating Sean Penn? It’s that Elizabeth probably needed several weekends at a spa after it was all done because she was tired.

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Prince Andrew Is Reportedly Ignoring Requests To Be Interviewed About His Friendship With Jeffrey Epstein

May 4, 2020 / Posted by:

I hope that at least one of The Queen’s 22 quarantined servants is good at playing dumb when she asks, “So, what’s new in the news today?“. Because she’s not going to be very happy to learn that the COVID-19 lockdown can’t lock down media outlets from reporting on the dumb decisions of her perpetually embarrassing son, Prince Andrew. According to The Daily Mail, Andrew just found a way to look even guiltier than he already does. A round of polite British applause for Andrew.

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Miranda Lambert Got Surprise Married To Her NYPD Boyfriend Of A Few Months

February 17, 2019 / Posted by:

Well I’ll be a corn shucker’s silver dollar pancake! Last week boot scootin’ salad tosser Miranda Lambert went and surprised us all (not really) by throwing some lettuce on a stranger in a steak restaurant. Not that Miranda needs an excuse to toss a salad in public whenever she feels like it, but now we know the real reason why she did it! Miranda was just releasing some pre-wedding jitters. That’s right, Miranda has gone and surprised us all again (not really) by getting secret married to her new boyfriend of a few minutes.

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Jennifer Garner Isn’t Surprised That Ben Affleck Is Dating A 22-Year-Old Playboy Model

August 22, 2018 / Posted by:

When it was reported earlier this week that Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus had broken up after about a year of dating, and that he had moved on to a 22-year-old Playboy model, it seemed like yet another box was checked on Ben’s Mid-Life To-Do List. I’m sure anyone was surprised, and Jennifer Garner was right there with the rest of us.

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Terry Richardson Is Finally Being Investigated For Sexual Misconduct

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

After years and years of allegations and hints and Law & Order episodes implying that Terry Richardson is a class-A creep, the New York Daily News says that the NYPD’s Special Victim’s Squad is currently conducting an investigation against him. “Okay, but what took so long,” thought anyone familiar with Uncle Terry.

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The “Dr. Phil” Show Might Be Doing More Bad Than Good

December 29, 2017 / Posted by:

Anyone who has ever watched the Dr. Phil show knows that the “Dr.” in the name Dr. Phil McGraw feels less like a medical title and more like an abbreviation for Driventoexploitpeople. Well, the Dr. Phil show might be doing more than just profiting off people’s problems. According to an investigation published by The Boston Globe’s STAT News, the Dr. Phil show is also allegedly guilty of encouraging guests to get fucked-up before they walk on stage.

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