Category: Lil Rappers

Open Post: Hosted By Lil Uzi Vert’s STOLEN Pink Diamond

September 7, 2021 / Posted by:

Lil Uzi Vert caught one in the pink while stage-diving at the Rolling Loud music festival back in July. People reports that “fans ripped out the pink diamond he has his forehead when he dove into a crowd,” which really just proves that the only thing more embarrassing than having a ludicrously large gemstone implanted into your forehead is having it stolen from you, right between your very eyes.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Lil Uzi Vert’s Pink Forehead Diamond And His New Tongue Tattoo

July 27, 2021 / Posted by:

The glittering jewel of the Lil Rappers’ constellation of physical adornments is back! Lil Uzi Vert has put his $24 million pink diamond back into his forehead meat. He must have known it was unsafe leaving that enormous pink diamond just laying around while Jennifer Lopez is in consort with Ben Affleck and decided it was better to keep in on his person at all times. And what’s the point in bringing back your truly, truly, truly outrageous jem without a new tattoo to go with it? Can’t do the forehead though, that’s taken, better do the tongue.

According to Uproxx, Lil Uzi got a tattoo on his tongue which appears to “depict an inverted cross” like the one found on a bottle of Jay Z’s D’usse brand cognac. And as a nod to his “fascination with religious cults.” We know JLo’s got her eye on his Big Pink (easier for her than for him TBH), so please lord let’s not let her get any more ideas or her tongue’s say BEN4LIFE by next week.

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Lil Wayne Is Facing Up To 10 Years In Prison On Federal Weapons Charges

November 17, 2020 / Posted by:

The internet let out a collective “oh, thaaaat’s why” upon hearing the news that Donald Trump’s fifth-best Black friend, Lil Wayne (Herman Cain’s death bumped him up the list right under Candace Owens), is facing up to 10 years in prison on federal weapons charges. We all know that Donald tends to be pretty liberal with that presidential pardon pen and since Kim Kardashian West’s legal career seems to have stalled out, he probably decided to represent himself in Trump Court, by courting Trump.

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John Legend Called Out “Your Former Favorite Rappers” At A Biden/Harris Rally

November 3, 2020 / Posted by:

While performing at a campaign event supporting the Biden/Harris ticket in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania last night, John Legend took a moment to call Donald Trump’s Platinum Plan for Black Americanothing but fool’s gold” and then went in on “some of your former favorite rappers,like Lil Wayne, for falling for that shit. John went on to say “The president isn’t strong, he’s a coward.” Ha! Goes to show what he knows. Would a coward call notorious gangster and all-around scary dude Lil Pump, “Little Pimp” TO HIS FACE in the same tone used to call a shy kitten over for a sip of milk? Because that’s just what the president did in front of a crowd of hundreds of unmasked supporters, so you tell me, who’s a coward now Mr. John Legend!? Lil Pump might be all of 4’10″ and 98 pounds soaking wet (76 lbs after his locks dry) but he’s earned his respect the hard way— on the mean streets of Copenhagen.

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Today In Choo-Choo News: Lil Wayne Has Boarded The Trump Train

October 30, 2020 / Posted by:

Well this is shocking. Who could have imagined that a universally revered and respected man who’s dedicated his life and career to selflessly fighting for civil rights and justice, sacrificing his own financial well-being in the process, and literally putting his life on the line is pursuit of these noble principals such as (*checks notes*) Lil Wayne, has endorsed Donald Trump. I can hear John Lewis now, wherever he may be – “WHHAT?!” Oh, wait sorry, that was Lil Jon. John Lewis is resting in power and wants nothing to do with this mess.

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