BLASPHEMY! Glenn Close Had To Share Her Critics’ Choice Award Win With Lady Gaga
Glenn Close deserves another award for acting like she’s grateful to tie with that lesser!
WTF was redefined twice last night at the Critics’ Choice Awards when two categories saw ties. TIES! There was a tie for Best Actress in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television when both Amy Adams (for Sharp Objects) and Patricia Arquette (for Escape at Dannemora) won. And the legendary Glenn Close tied for Best Actress in a movie with amateur actress Lady Gaga. Glenn Close is a professional, so she didn’t do what she should’ve done, which is to sashay up to the mic and say, “You hate me. You really fucking hate me!”
Glenn Close won the Best Actress in a Drama at the Golden Globes, beating Lady Gaga who many thought would win. The critics were evenly split, and the sexiest Madball who ever was, Willem Dafoe, announced that THEE Glenn Close has to share the award with Lady Gaga for playing Lady Gaga in Stagecoach Festival drag. Welcome to the reboot of the Dark Ages!
While I decided whether or not to start up a petition on Change.org demanding a recount (but decided not to since it’s the Critics’ Choice Awards and who cares), Glenn said that she was happy it was a tie:
“I am so thrilled it’s a tie, I can’t tell you. I was thinking that, you know, the world kind of pits us against each other in this profession and I know that from all the women in this category, and I think I can speak for all the women in this room, we celebrate each other.”
Gaga, who had to rush out of the Critics’ Choice Awards to be with her dying horse, also said that she’s glad Glenn won too:
It was night of surprises at the Critics’ Choice Awards on Sunday including a tie for best actress.
Lady Gaga and Glenn Close shared the honor for their performances in "A Star Is Born" and "The Wife". pic.twitter.com/guNp4TA64U
— NBC News (@NBCNews) January 14, 2019
The Critics’ Choice Awards categories always bring questions marks out of my brain. There’s a Best Actress category, and an actress from a drama, comedy, or musical can go into that category. But there’s also a Best Actress Comedy category and only actresses in a comedy can go into that one. Olivia Colman lost in the Best Actress category but won Best Actress in a Comedy. Glenn, Gaga, and Olivia are considered the frontrunners for the Best Actress OSCUH, and nominations for that will be announced on January 22. The SAG Awards are on January 25, and those three are all up for Best Actress.
If there’s another tie at the SAGs, Glenn should calmly get out of her seat, pull out her SAG card, and tear it into pieces as she gracefully makes her way out of that bitch to fly to New Zealand to raise goats (who will undoubtedly appreciate her unlike the messes who vote for these awards!). But seriously, ties should not happen! If there is a tie, they should do shit Survivor-style. The two who tied should have to compete onstage for the win, but instead of making fire with a flint, they should have to perform Sally Field’s “I wanna know why” monologue from Steel Magnolias. Or oil wrestle. And Glenn would’ve easily won both.
Here’s the full list of winners. Christian Bale won twice for the same damn role, while Bradley Cooper left the show with nothing but a LeonardoDiCaprioLosing face.
Film:
Best Picture
Black Panther
BlacKkKlansman
The Favourite
First Man
Green Book
If Beale Street Could Talk
Mary Poppins Returns
Roma
A Star Is Born
Vice
Best Actor
Christian Bale, Vice
Bradley Cooper, A Star Is Born
Willem Dafoe, At Eternity’s Gate
Ryan Gosling, First Man
Ethan Hawke, First Reformed
Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
Viggo Mortensen, Green Book
Best Actress
Yalitza Aparicio, Roma
Emily Blunt, Mary Poppins Returns
Glenn Close, The Wife (Tie!)
Toni Collette, Hereditary
Olivia Colman, The Favourite
Lady Gaga, A Star Is Born (Tie!)
Melissa McCarthy, Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Best Supporting Actor
Mahershala Ali, Green Book
Timothée Chalamet, Beautiful Boy
Adam Driver, BlacKkKlansman
Sam Elliott, A Star Is Born
Richard E. Grant, Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Michael B. Jordan, Black Panther
Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, Vice
Claire Foy, First Man
Nicole Kidman, Boy Erased
Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk
Emma Stone, The Favourite
Rachel Weisz, The Favourite
Best Young Actor/Actress
Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade
Thomasin McKenzie, Leave No Trace
Ed Oxenbould, Wildlife
Millicent Simmonds, A Quiet Place
Amandla Stenberg, The Hate U Give
Sunny Suljic, Mid90s
Best Acting Ensemble
Black Panther
Crazy Rich Asians
The Favourite
Vice
Widows
Best Director
Damien Chazelle, First Man
Bradley Cooper, A Star Is Born
Alfonso Cuarón, Roma
Peter Farrelly, Green Book
Yorgos Lanthimos, The Favourite
Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman
Adam McKay, Vice
Best Original Screenplay
Bo Burnham, Eighth Grade
Alfonso Cuarón, Roma
Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara, The Favourite
Adam McKay, Vice
Paul Schrader, First Reformed
Nick Vallelonga, Brian Hayes Currie, Peter Farrelly, Green Book
Bryan Woods, Scott Beck, John Krasinski, A Quiet Place
Best Adapted Screenplay
Ryan Coogler, Joe Robert Cole, Black Panther
Nicole Holofcener, Jeff Whitty, Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Barry Jenkins, If Beale Street Could Talk
Eric Roth, Bradley Cooper, and Will Fetters, A Star Is Born
Josh Singer, First Man
Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott, and Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman
Best Cinematography
Alfonso Cuarón, Roma
James Laxton, If Beale Street Could Talk
Matthew Libatique, A Star Is Born
Rachel Morrison, Black Panther
Robbie Ryan, The Favourite
Linus Sandgren, First Man
Best Production Design
Hannah Beachler, Jay Hart, Black Panther
Eugenio Caballero, Barbara Enriquez, Roma
Nelson Coates, Andrew Baseman, Crazy Rich Asians
Fiona Crombie, Alice Felton, The Favourite
Nathan Crowley, Kathy Lucas, First Man
John Myhre, Gordon Sim, Mary Poppins Returns
Best Editing
Jay Cassidy, A Star Is Born
Hank Corwin, Vice
Tom Cross, First Man
Alfonso Cuarón, Adam Gough, Roma
Yorgos Mavropsaridis, The Favourite
Joe Walker, Widows
Best Costume Design
Alexandra Byrne, Mary Queen of Scots
Ruth Carter, Black Panther
Julian Day, Bohemian Rhapsody
Sandy Powell, The Favourite
Sandy Powell, Mary Poppins Returns
Best Hair and Makeup
Black Panther
Bohemian Rhapsody
The Favourite
Mary Queen of Scots
Suspiria
Vice
Best Visual Effects
Avengers: Infinity War
Black Panther
First Man
Mary Poppins Returns
Mission: Impossible — Fallout
Ready Player One
Best Animated Feature
The Grinch
Incredibles 2
Isle of Dogs
Mirai
Ralph Breaks the Internet
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Best Action Movie
Avengers: Infinity War
Black Panther
Deadpool 2
Mission: Impossible — Fallout
Ready Player One
Widows
Best Comedy
Crazy Rich Asians
Deadpool 2
The Death of Stalin
The Favourite
Game Night
Sorry to Bother You
Best Actor in a Comedy
Christian Bale, Vice
Jason Bateman, Game Night
Viggo Mortensen, Green Book
John C. Reilly, Stan & Ollie
Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool 2
Lakeith Stanfield, Sorry to Bother You
Best Actress in a Comedy
Emily Blunt, Mary Poppins Returns
Olivia Colman, The Favourite
Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade
Rachel McAdams, Game Night
Charlize Theron, Tully
Constance Wu, Crazy Rich Asians
Best Sci-Fi or Horror Movie
Annihilation
Halloween
Hereditary
A Quiet Place
Suspiria
Best Foreign Language Film
Burning
Capernaum
Cold War
Roma
Shoplifters
Best Song
“All the Stars,” Black Panther
“Girl in the Movies,” Dumplin’
“I’ll Fight,” RBG
“The Place Where Lost Things Go,” Mary Poppins Returns
“Shallow,” A Star Is Born
“Trip a Little Light Fantastic,” Mary Poppins Returns
Best Score
Kris Bowers, Green Book
Nicholas Britell, If Beale Street Could Talk
Alexandre Desplat, Isle of Dogs
Ludwig Göransson, Black Panther
Justin Hurwitz, First Man
Marc Shaiman, Mary Poppins Returns
TV:
Best Comedy Series
Atlanta
Barry
The Good Place
The Kominsky Method
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
The Middle
One Day at a Time
Schitt’s Creek
Best Drama Series
The Americans
Better Call Saul
The Good Fight
Homecoming
Killing Eve
My Brilliant Friend
Pose
Succession
Best Actor in a Drama Series
Freddie Highmore, The Good Doctor
Diego Luna, Narcos: Mexico
Richard Madden, Bodyguard
Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
Billy Porter, Pose
Matthew Rhys, The Americans
Milo Ventimiglia, This Is Us
Best Actress in a Drama Series
Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Deuce
Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale
Sandra Oh, Killing Eve
Elizabeth Olsen, Sorry for Your Loss
Julia Roberts, Homecoming
Keri Russell, The Americans
Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Richard Cabral, Mayans M.C.
Asia Kate Dillon, Billions
Noah Emmerich, The Americans
Justin Hartley, This Is Us
Matthew Macfadyen, Succession
Richard Schiff, The Good Doctor
Shea Whigham, Homecoming
Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Dina Shihabi, Jack Ryan
Julia Garner, Ozark
Thandie Newton, Westworld
Rhea Seehorn, Better Call Saul
Yvonne Strahovski, The Handmaid’s Tale
Holly Taylor, The Americans
Best Actor in a Comedy Series
Hank Azaria, Brockmire
Ted Danson, The Good Place
Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method
Donald Glover, Atlanta
Bill Hader, Barry
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Best Actress in a Comedy Series
Rachel Bloom, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Allison Janney, Mom
Justina Machado, One Day at a Time
Debra Messing, Will & Grace
Issa Rae, Insecure
Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
William Jackson Harper, The Good Place
Sean Hayes, Will & Grace
Brian Tyree Henry, Atlanta
Nico Santos, Superstore
Tony Shalhoub, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Henry Winkler, Barry
Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Betty Gilpin, GLOW
Laurie Metcalf, The Conners
Rita Moreno, One Day at a Time
Zoe Perry, Young Sheldon
Annie Potts, Young Sheldon
Miriam Shor, Younger
Best Limited Series
A Very English Scandal
American Vandal
The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Escape at Dannemora
Genius: Picasso
Sharp Objects
Best Movie Made for Television
Icebox
Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert
King Lear
My Dinner With Hervé
Notes From the Field
The Tale
Best Actor in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television
Antonio Banderas, Genius: Picasso
Darren Criss, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Paul Dano, Escape at Dannemora
Benicio del Toro, Escape at Dannemora
Hugh Grant, A Very English Scandal
John Legend, Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert
Best Actress in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television
Amy Adams, Sharp Objects (Tie!)
Patricia Arquette, Escape at Dannemora (Tie!)
Connie Britton, Dirty John
Carrie Coon, The Sinner
Laura Dern, The Tale
Anna Deavere Smith, Notes From the Field
Best Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television
Brandon Victor Dixon, Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert
Eric Lange, Escape at Dannemora
Alex Rich, Genius: Picasso
Peter Sarsgaard, The Looming Tower
Finn Wittrock, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Ben Whishaw, A Very English Scandal
Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television
Ellen Burstyn, The Tale
Patricia Clarkson, Sharp Objects
Penélope Cruz, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Julia Garner, Dirty John
Judith Light, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Elizabeth Perkins, Sharp Objects
Best Animated Series
Adventure Time
Archer
Bob’s Burgers
BoJack Horseman
The Simpsons
South Park
Pic: AP