Here’s an update for those of you who didn’t think it could get any worse for Aaron Carter than getting a tattoo of Rihanna-as-Medusa on the side his face. Aaron Carter got another big, visible tattoo. But unlike that one on his face, this newest one is a whole lot more difficult to identify what it is. Well, besides “huge mistake” or “giant waste of money,” of course. Both of those are technically correct guesses, but not the answer Aaron would be looking for. Oh, and speaking of looking – if you’re looking for Aaron, try Canada. Because apparently he lives in Canada now.
There’s a couple universal stereotypes about Canadian people. There’s the one about us being too polite, the one about us constantly apologizing, and my personal favorite, the one where we refuse to take a compliment, almost to the point of aggression (“NO, you make the better butter tarts, I INSIST“). Drake has proven the last one is false.
Hunter Biden is probably looking at his watch and secretly wishing there was an extra hour in the day, just so he could achieve even more messiness in his personal life. Because right now, it would appear he’s fully filling each of those 24 hours.
We’ve got an update on everybody’s favorite political failson, and of course there’s enough new information to make Joe Biden shoot off an email that reads, “Damn son, you couldn’t wait until 2021 with all this?“. The New Yorker recently spoke to Hunter about his father’s campaign for President, Hunter’s allegedly shady business deals with China and the Ukraine, and how Hunter handled his brother’s death (aka not well). But of course the conversation turned to Hunter’s recent marriage and paternity drama.
Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson first had us questioning the laws of acceleration by getting matching tattoos quickly after they first got together. Tattoos would appear to be their thing, as they’ve recently spent time together getting even more.
Hot weirdo Evan Peters and Julia Roberts’ maybe-crazy niece Emma Roberts called it quits for the 1.7 millionth time back in May. If American Horror Story ever did a season based around Groundhog Day, this would be the B storyline. Because once again, Emma Roberts and Evan Peters are back together.
No, not Janice the Muppet after an eye lift and a horny possum (but I can see how you’d make that mistake). The owners of said tattoo/future mistake are Tori Spelling and The Deaner. That’s right, the couple that has continued to define the words healthy, stable, and…whatever the opposite of shameless is got themselves a permanent reminder of their dysfunctional love. How romantic and not at all something that will one day be removed in 4-6 laser treatments during a docuseries called End of Our sTORI: My Divorce from Dean.
Tori and The Deaner decided to get matching 10th anniversary tattoos in Paris. I really wish I was bringing you the news that Tori got a tramp stamp that says DEANER, and Dean got a chest piece that says JACKPOT, but they kept it a little classier than that. Both Tori and Dean got the phrase “Tout mon coeur Toute ma vie“, which translates to “All my heart All my life” (or “My whole heart My whole life“, depending on who you ask).
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott get matching tattoos in Paris – Daily Mail: Daily MailTori Spelling and Dean… https://t.co/QAtx0WkEn0
— Tori Spelling (@ToriSpellingHQ) May 17, 2016
You can see more of their tattoo date, including a pic of a shirtless Dean, over at The Daily Mail.
Dean’s new tattoo joins the rest of his Tori-inspired tattoos. Shortly after The Deaner got busted for sticking his peener in some Canadian strange, he got their wedding vows tattooed on his torso. He also has a portrait of her face on his arm and her name above his dick. Apparently Dean is her husband and her most psychotic fan. But I can’t help but wonder how Dean and Tori ended up going with that specific tattoo. I bet Dean chose it, and it went a little something like this:
“Don’t worry babe, let me handle it. I’m Canadian, so obviously I speak French. Yo, garcon. Qu’est ce que c’est crappening? Moi et le wife want to get le tattoos. Something le romantique, but also…how you say…could apply to something else in the event I end up putting mon jambon in some random croissant and she dumps moi ass, you feel me? Maybe something like ‘all my heart, all my life’, cuz I fucking j’adore Miller High Life. Alright, garde-le sleazy.”