Hunter Biden is probably looking at his watch and secretly wishing there was an extra hour in the day, just so he could achieve even more messiness in his personal life. Because right now, it would appear he’s fully filling each of those 24 hours.
We’ve got an update on everybody’s favorite political failson, and of course there’s enough new information to make Joe Biden shoot off an email that reads, “Damn son, you couldn’t wait until 2021 with all this?“. The New Yorker recently spoke to Hunter about his father’s campaign for President, Hunter’s allegedly shady business deals with China and the Ukraine, and how Hunter handled his brother’s death (aka not well). But of course the conversation turned to Hunter’s recent marriage and paternity drama.
Back in May we learned that Hunter had called it quits with Hallie Biden, the widow of Hunter’s brother Beau Biden. They dated for two years following Beau’s death from brain cancer in 2015. Hunter admits to The New Yorker that he decided to start dating Hallie after a crack binge in Los Angeles. A Hertz rental car employee says they found a crack pipe in a car rented by Hunter.
Only a few weeks after it was revealed that Hunter and Hallie were over, we learned that Hunter had gotten married to a South African woman named Melissa Cohen. That timeline of when one relationship ended and the next began was pretty murky. But thanks to Hunter’s interview, we can rule out any cheater-ish overlap in the relationships. According to 49-year-old Hunter, he met, got a matching tattoo with, proposed to, and married 32-year-old Melissa within a week.
Hunter says that he met Melissa in early May of this year. A few days after their first date, Hunter – who was raised Catholic – went out and got a tattoo that read “shalom” on his left bicep to match the “shalom” tattoo Melissa has on her left bicep. On May 15th, less than a week after they met, Hunter proposed to Melissa. The next morning, she accepted, and so Hunter went out and bought some simple gold bands, and called a marriage officiant who came over and made it legal on the roof of Melissa’s Los Angeles apartment.
Hunter says that he and Melissa called Joe after they got married, and Joe told Melissa (over speakerphone): “Thank you for giving my son the courage to love again.” Courage? Um, it’s pretty obvious that Hunter dives into relationships like I dive into chip dip; there’s not exactly a whole lot of nerve involved.
Speaking of the nerve of this guy, The New Yorker brought up that lawsuit in which a 28-year-old woman named Lunden Roberts alleged that Hunter is the father of her 11-month-old baby boy. Lunden didn’t want to drag Hunter into family man life – she just wanted him to pony up some cash to help take care of his alleged son. Lunden might want to call Maury, because according to The New Yorker, “Hunter has denied having sexual relations with Roberts.” That’s pretty bold of Hunter. This is a guy who has covered the full spectrum of questionable decisions, from matching tattoos to full-on crack smoking. A more accurate response to the question of possible paternity would be: “Hey, I’m Hunter Biden – your guess is as good as mine.”