It’s the last week of summer and you know what that means— Sun’s out, subscapular fossa’s out! Straight men in skirts on the red carpet are SO last month and you’re not gonna catch young Mr. Timothée Chalamet out here in ashy bare knees like some divorced dad of six. Today at the Venice Film Festival premiere of that cannibal movie he did with his Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino called Bones and All, Timothée brought just that to the red carpet. It’s almost as if he’s taunting Armie Hammer from afar with his tender and oh-so-succulent scapulae. He’s all “suck on this, Armie! Actually, on second thought…”
No, Chloe Sevigny didn’t do the celebrity thing of announcing her pregnancy on Instagram, or keep quiet until the kid is here, and then it’s like, surprise, I have a daughter named Raddix. Chloe used the paparazzi to announce her pregnancy. I never pictured alt-girl queen Chloe Sevigny as the type to bring out her baby belly in front of a photographer, but here we are.
The hottest trend in Hollywood right now (besides the ongoing one in which celebrities give their unfortunate children the names of cities that also sound like television hospital dramas) is to disavow writer/director Woody Allen. Actors appear to be taking Woody’s daughter Dylan Farrow accusing him of molesting her when she was a child seriously. (It only took three years.) Whereas actors once viewed Woody asking them to be in one of his overly long and overly talky movies as a sign that they’d made it, now many of them are claiming that they will treat it like he’s offered to personally clog all of their toilets for free. No thanks, Wood. The latest actor to jump aboard the “Nix That Nebbish” bandwagon is eternal hipster and misunderstood Instagram beauty Chloe Sevigny. Maybe. Continue reading
Her name is Chloe Sevigny. And it’s recently come to her attentshun that some behavior on Instagram is “disgusting.” (Those videos have run on a little too long but still – classic.)
Boho chic NYC actress vintage shopper realness queen, Chloe, told Net-A-Porter that she only uses her 570,000-follower Instagram account in certain ways, and you also won’t see her promoting herself that much. She’d really much rather be taking pictures with a dirty, barely functioning Polaroid camera she found at a curio shop in Harlem for $300, then send the pics snail mail to a former lover who’s holed up in a tiny flat in Gstaad, writing poetry about the revolution. Or something. FYI Chloe, just because it’s easier, doesn’t mean it’s not as good.
Louis Vuitton threw a party at the Louvre in Paris last night to celebrate their collaboration with Jeff Koons. Jeff Koons designed a line of tacky and hideous bags for them and you can see some of them here, but really, it just looks like the Louvre wiped its asshole with Louis Vuitton purses. The knock-offs are probably going to look better.
Louis Vuitton’s regulars, like Michelle Williams, Jennifer Connelly and Miranda Kerr, came out and so did Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston. After the party, Justin and Jennifer must have been planning to take a time machine back to the 90s to troll clubs for a third. Because they are giving me “90s swingers on a mission” hotness. They look like rejected Bret Easton Ellis characters.
Pulling off leather pants isn’t easy (and I mean that in more ways than one) and Justin isn’t doing it, but I’m still loving this look. Justin looks like that douche at the club whose got a thick cloud of Acqua di Gio following him and who tells the chicks that he’s an exotic car dealer when he’s really a salesman-in-training at a Hyundai dealership. The Roxbury Guys would look at him like, “What an asshole.”
Justin’s bulge isn’t as BOOM as it has been in the past, but it does sort of look like two small guinea pigs spooning in a trash bag.
I bet the line that Justin heard the most all night was, “I can’t wait to see you in paste pants later.”
And here’s more pictures from last night including Jennifer Connelly who covered herself with four layers of nope.
I’m starting to think the unofficial theme of May is “A Conversation About Creepy Directors.” Yesterday it was Adrien Brody verbally shrugging his shoulders at the alleged grossness of Woody Allen, Bill Cosby and Roman Polanski. The day before that it was Susan Sarandon spilling the hot truth about how she feels regarding Woody Allen. Before that, Ronan Farrow called out Blake Lively and Kristen Stewart as they awkwardly cleared their throats and prayed that someone would change the subject. And now Chloe Sevigny is talking about her personal experience with creepy directors in general.