Not You Too, Smarmy Afghan Hound, Not You Too!

May 17, 2016 / Posted by:

The universe is a shifty bitch who gets off on playing with our emotions. One second, the universe lifts me up passed the stars by giving us Susan Sarandon dragging Woody Allen in front of a bunch of reporters. The next second, the universe drops me, and as I plummet to the ground, it kicks me in the already bruised-up culo while wearing Mexican pointy boots. That happened when one of my favorite panty cream-inducing douche lotharios, Adrien Brody, not only defended Roman Polanski, but he also defended Bill Cosby and Woody Allen. And he did it on Jenny McCarthy’s SiriusXM show. It’s a good thing that my mom isn’t like Jenny McCarthy and vaccinated me, because if she didn’t, listening to Adrien Brody defend the Unholy Trinity of Trash would’ve given me whooping cough of the ears.

The fun house mirror Yanni was on Jenny’s show to promote who knows, who cares, and at the end of the interview, she asked him if any actors have given him shit for working with Roman Polanski (on The Pianist) and Woody Allen (on Midnight In Paris). I wish he would’ve said, “You know, I just realized what show I’m on and this is way beneath me, so bye, bitch!” But instead, these words slid out of his mouth:

“Life is very complicated. Your responsibility to find… I look to collaborate with artistic people and to go into an endeavor without judgment and to hopefully be treated with the same. It’s an artistic pursuit, and Polanski for instance had a very complicated and difficult life. It would be unfair of me to delve into something as complicated as the past that was brought up in the media.”

So, it sounds like Adrien believes in separating the artist from the art and the artist from the RAPE. Okay, but when Jenny asked him if that’s what he thinks, he sort of shrugged when he said this:

“Well, to a certain extent. I mean, again, people make mistakes in lives. It’s not for me to delve into. It’s not really my place.”

Jenny also brought up how she thinks it’s interesting how Bill Cosby, who has never been convicted of sexual assault, was pretty much dropped from Hollywood while nothing has really happened to Woody Allen, who has also never been convicted of sexual assault. Adrien’s Cool Water-scented mind can’t be bothered with such silly fodder! Adrien’s mouth fodded this out about all the fodder:

“I don’t even read about these things, to be honest…. I choose not to indulge in this kind of fodder. I think there’s a lot of catastrophe in this world and a lot of cruelty and a lot of carelessness. Of course it’s horrible what comes out sometimes, and people have done things in their lives that may be inexcusable, but it’s not something to focus on.”

Oh, how lovely it is to be Adrien Brody who gets to luxuriously lounge in the bathtub in the tower of his majestic castle where he doesn’t have to fret about trivial fodder like Woody Allen allegedly assaulting his daughter or Bill Cosby allegedly drugging and raping dozens of women. If Adrien ever decides to descend from his castle tower, he should work as a publicist for Cosby, Woody and Polanski, because he’d clear everything up by saying, “Life is very complicated and we shouldn’t focus on such fodder like child rape, so let’s forget about that and focus on more important things like scarves!

And here’s the anti-fodder crusader taking a ride on his fodder fighting chariot with his girlfriend Lara Leito in NYC a week ago.

Pics: Getty,

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