The search continues for the Titan, the teeny tiny OceanGate submersible that disappeared while touring the Titanic shipwreck 12,500 feet under the sea. As I’m writing this, the five passengers aboard have approximately 13 hours of oxygen left. It doesn’t look great. If I were one of the passengers’ loved ones, I’d be freaking out. But grief is a funny thing. One person’s “lie in bed scream-sobbing” is another person’s “go to a Blink-182 show”. See: passenger Hamish Harding’s stepson, Brian Szasz.
Frank Ocean Has Dropped Out Of Coachella’s Second Weekend And Blink-182 Will Replace Him As Headliner
Frank Ocean was originally supposed to headline Coachella in 2020. Then COVID came along and proved to be a bigger health hazard to music festivals than Gerard Butler fucking a random in a Porta Potty. Frank headlined this year’s Coachella instead, and it was his first live performance in six years. So his fans (The Oceanographers?) were ready, but many of them ended up with a serious case of musical blue balls. Some who were in the audience during Frank Ocean’s first Coachella set last weekend say that they probably would’ve gotten a more exciting performance from a third-tier tribute act called Frank Puddle in a show sponsored by Ambien. So it’s no surprise that Frank isn’t headlining Coachella’s upcoming second weekend, and he blamed his bunk ankle on what took him out.
In yet another case for restricting social media to the 21 and over because too much not right shit goes down when underage kids drink vodka as does when they have Snapchat or what have you, Graham Sierota of Echosmith, 20, was called out by Alabama Barker, 13 and her dad, Blink-182 drummer Travis Baker, for hitting on her in her DMis. People reports that Alabama has now publicly forgiven Graham, and Graham’s family is blaming his behavior on his supposedly being on the autism spectrum.
Woe to the man who sells $250,000 tickets to vacuous rich people with money to burn (see what I did there?) for a pretty much imaginary event. April’s Fyre Festival lured the idle rich to an island in the Bahamas for what was supposed to be a “transformational” music festival experience. The only transformation that took place was moneyed d-bags being transformed into peasants like us, forced to contend with inadequate lodgings, performers bailing on the event, and *GASP* cheese sandwiches made with non-artisanal white bread!
Well, not only are some of those (not really) poor bastards suing everyone involved for their money back, but the Fyre Festival’s founder, one Billy McFarland, has been arrested on federal wire fraud charges. Surely he can make bail if he was charging that much for tickets to his fake event, right?
If that headline and that picture above has taught me anything, it’s that Tom DeLonge is only a puke green suit and a can of extra-hold mousse away from becoming the Ancient Aliens guy.
Last year, Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker of Blink-182 publicly slapped at former member Tom DeLonge during an interview with Rolling Stone for being a giant flake and headache of a human. Not long after, Tom gave some of us a headache when he took us on a crazy ride while talking to Paper magazine about his personal experience with aliens. And now, Tom is talking about aliens again.
Blink-182’s Tom DeLonge Thinks The Government Is Watching Him Because He Knows Too Much About Aliens And Coverups
Tom took a break from fighting with the other members of Blink-182 to unload his thoughts about aliens on Paper Magazine. Tom has a website dedicated to exposing the truth, he’s read over 200 books about UFOS and he claims that he knows so much that the government has kept tabs on him by tapping his phone. Tom says that when he fist got into extraterrestrial shit twenty years ago, bitches laughed at him, called him crazy and basically told him to bunk with Shelley DuVall. But he says that more and more people and major organizations are opening their eyes to the truth. The truth IS out there and Tom has seen it.