Fyre Festival employee of the year (OK, 3.5 months) Andy King announced on Instagram that “it only took 58 years to find true love.” According to People, Andy, whose claim to fame was demonstrating a high level of dedication to his professional responsibilities and a gag reflex that just won’t quit, has a new gentleman in his life, 26-year-old Craig McBlain. If I’m doing the math right, and I’m probably not, that means Andy spent 32 of those 58 years waiting for Craig to be born.
The Fyre Festival is now but a distant memory (or a continued nightmare, if you’re one of the poor souls who has Post-Traumatic Cheese Toast Disorder). But as we all likely remember, the 2017 Fyre Festival became an unmitigated disaster due to the perfect storm of under-planning by the scammers who created it, and over-hype by the models paid to promote it. Kendall Jenner was one such model who was paid to promote the festival on social media, and now a judge is forcing her to return some of that money.
Tekashi 6ix9ine. Bill Cosby. R. Kelly. What do all of these stunning examples of human men have in common? They want out of prison early so they don’t go the way of convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein and catch coronavirus. Tekashi’s the only one who actually succeeded, but I guess that was enough to inspire the Fyre Festival con artist guy, Billy McFarland, to petition for an early release. Billy’s been serving his six-year sentence for wire fraud since the end of 2018.
Vulture says there’s a new music festival on the horizon and it’s a hip-hop and R&B festival and it might be a dud. The full line-up of the Lovers & Friends music festival was announced, and some performers have confirmed that they’re performing, while others are wondering why the fuck everyone keeps asking them about it. But fear not! Snoop Dogg is here to tell you it’s legit! So don’t worry! It’s not like Fyre Festival had any big names supporting it, right?
The Fyre Festival is part of human history now; a moment in time which we all experienced together and thought, “Wow, what a bunch of shitheads.” On all sides of the equation: people who attended despite all the sketchy things leading up to it, and also the people who planned and organized it as though you could swindle hundreds of people onto an island and get away with it.
Well one of these idiots who was responsible for the whole thing and has talked about doing more in the future, is now officially cleared of one major lawsuit. A judge has ruled that Ja Rule will not be a part of that $100 million class action lawsuit.
Kanye West has really been grifting the people of America and the world with his unbelievably shitty merchandise. Of varying kinds. His clothes are insanely bad both in design and price. His Sunday Service merchandise is so overpriced that even Goop is like: “Really, bitch? $50 for socks and they don’t even claim to clear your chakras? Sort of a rip off…” And he made his fans wait like a year for an album that was shorter than your workout. I mean, the man is consistently under-delivering and over-charging. It’s the only thing Kris Jenner likes about his alienating personality right now. Well he continues to rake in the big bucks for the Kardashian Koven and now he’s charged people $55 to eat a measly “brunch“. Oh but this time there’s an excuse. It’s the caterer’s fault.