Louis Tomlinson’s Newborn Son Made His Instagram Debut
Louis Tomlinson of One Direction tweeted and Instagrammed a picture of his brand new baby son yesterday, and as I scrolled through the comments, it didn’t take me long to get to one from a Directioner who refuses to believe that child is real and is not some publicity stunt to distract us from the 100% fact that he’s full-time fucking his true soulmate Harry Styles. They see you, Louis!
seriously? it’s manip. stop please.
There’s obviously no man nipple in that picture, so they’re accusing that pic of being a Photoshop Awards contender. They really got their magnifying glasses out and can clearly see that tiny newborn is a stock photo baby. I bet B.o.B left that comment. He’s a flat Earth truther AND a baby Tomlinson truther.
But really, there was a rumor that Louis and his one-time casual piece Briana Jungwirth named their son Sydney Rain, which made us all think that they really want their kid to grow up to be a headliner at the Spearmint Rhino in Downtown L.A., because that’s a primetime stripper name if I ever heard one. But they didn’t name their son Sydney Rain. They named him Freddie Reign. I guess the reign of famous messes naming their kid Reign has officially started. But I don’t totally hate the name and only because Freddie Reign sounds like the name of the lead singer of a Queen cover band. And here’s another OBVIOUSLY Photoshopped picture of Baby Freddie Reign.
Birthday Sluts
Alicia Keys (35)
Calum Hood (20)
Michael Trevino (31)
Charlie Bewley (35)
Michelle McCool (36)
Christine Lakin (37)
Princess Charlene of Monaco (38)
Mia Kirshner (41)
Dat Phan (41)
China Kantner (45)
Ana Ortiz (45)
Marcus Samuelsson (45)
Dinah Manoff (58)
Jenifer Lewis (59)
The Honky Tonk Man (63)
Leiji Matsumoto (78)
Pic: @aliciakeys
Charlie Sheen And Denise Richards Are Fighting About Money Again
Every night before the families of Charlie Sheen’s lawyers eat their usual casual dinner of filet mignon, caviar and truffles dipped in liquid gold they bow their heads and give thanks to the tiger blood-having warlock for keeping their family rich as hell with his messiness. Charlie’s lawyers are already busy dealing with the lawsuits from “desperate charlatans” who are suing him for allegedly not telling them that he’s HIV positive, and now they have to add a lawsuit from Denise Richards to their big, fat pile.
QOTD: Ricky Martin Is Open To Diving Back Into Cooch
I don’t know if Ricky Martin’s top took that picture in a “before bottoming” moment or if he took that selfie with his feet. If it’s the second one, he needs to immediately clear his entire schedule and check into the selfie rehab program at Promises. Because that’s a new selfie low.
Pink News says that Ricky Martin apparently told Mexican magazine Fama that his dick is like a dandelion. It goes wherever the wind may take it even if the wind takes it to a chocha.
“I know that I like both men and women. I’m against sexual labels, we are simply human beings with emotional and sexual needs. I am gay, men fascinate me, but I like to enjoy sex in total freedom, so I’m open to having sex with a woman if I feel desire.”
Ricky was asked if he’d ever have a relationship with a woman again and he shook his head no to that one by saying, “Men are my thing.”
Did a drunk bitch transcribe that interview before running it through Google Translate, because what he says doesn’t really make sense. Ricky doesn’t like sexual labels, but yet calls himself a gay man and he calls himself a gay man, but yet says that he’s down for poon. I see Ricky trying to make sure the horny ladies show up to his concerts. But really, I sort of get what Ricky’s saying. I mean, I’m gayer than a yellow rhinestone charm dangling off of a pink poodle’s cock ring, and there’s still a part of me that is Sandsexual, meaning I’d grab the holy water lube and some Lucite dildo heels if Shauna Sand wanted to do me.
Speaking of, here’s the Empress of Lucite and the most gorgeous goddess in the world displaying some grunge eleganza in L.A. a few months ago.
Hot Slut Of The Day!
The catniphead kitty!
Throw this onto the Mama June-sized pile of reasons why pussies rule the world. If I walked into an In-N-Out and rolled around on a pile of my drug of choice (Double-Doubles) without buying them, the employees would bust a CITIZEN’S ARREST on me, the cops would probably tase me, I’d get arrested and the judge would order me to stay away from my place of worship (In-N-Out) forever! But a pussy does the same thing and becomes a viral star and doesn’t even get put into handcuffs.
YouTube user SensualCat (no comment) uploaded this video last Friday of a cat getting his life (more like, getting his 9 lives) while making sweet, sweet love to a pile of nature’s cat crack. The user says that the cat strolled into a Dutch pet store, found the catnip and rolled on that shit as though he was Leonardo DiCaprio and that catnip was a pile of Oscar ballots with his name checked. That pussy went wild as though he was John Travolta and that catnip was a pile of peens (I’d have the same reaction too). You got the point the first time around.
(Note: It’s pretty hard for a cat to technically overdose on catnip. Yes, I Googled that.)
SensualCat left this note with the video of catniphead kitty getting his:
This cat entered the pet store by accident and had the time of his life rolling around in catnip toys! Pure kitty bliss 😀 Oh, and his owner came to pick him up, so all’s well that ends well!
Uh huh, all’s well that ends well until catniphead kitty steals money from his human and sells his ass to get his fix. This is why Intervention should’ve never been canceled.
via NY Post (For Jen)
“This Trick Right Here, She Doesn’t Deserve That Oscar Nom” (UPDATE)
Pharrell’s hat twin Linda Perry became Little Monster enemy #1 last night when she accused Lady CaCa of using one of Beyonce’s signature tricks to get a writing credit on a song. Linda Perry is the one who exposed Beyonce’s writing credit trick and now she’s yanking at Gaga’s wig. Diane Warren and Gaga were nominated for a Best Song Oscar for the song Til It Happens To You from the documentary The Hunting Ground. Linda went “hmmm…” on Twitter last night over how Diane Warren’s demo of the song was pretty much identical to the version that Lady CaCa released. The hipster cholita scarecrow says that only one little line was re-worked in Til It Happens To You, and she thinks Diane let Gaga make that tiny change so that Gaga would get a writing credit and the song would get more promotion.