The HSOTD Hall Of Fame: STAINS!

The whole Hot Slut of the Day feature started with paying tribute to hotness from the past, and I usually only made humans HSOTD but threw in the occasional cartoon character and 80s toy. But when I started to make animals HSOTD, the entire Hot Slut game was changed, and it’s never been the same since! Three animals have won the highly coveted (emphasis on “high” because you gotta be high to covet that shit) Hot Slut of the Year: Spaghetti Cat (2008), the late great Freya (2022), and STAINS (2009)!

The Aughts were the golden era of reality shit shows because you couldn’t turn on the TV without a new one hitting you in the face. It’s Me or the Dog was a British reality show that debuted on UK’s Channel 4 in 2005. It was like a dog owner’s answer to Supernanny. It followed dog trainer Victoria Stillwell as she went into homes to help humans responsibly train dogs who weren’t acting right. The show was a hit and came to Animal Planet in the US in 2008. STAINS starred in the 13th episode of season one in January 2009, but before the episode even aired, he became a breakout star when a preview clip on YouTube of his hypnotic cupcake eyes went viral. Victoria was using the cupcakes to teach him restraint, but to us viewers, it looked like she was cruelly taunting him! Victoria should’ve been immediately put into handcuffs for animal abuse. Since all of us would probably widen our eyes like, “Is this trick serious,” over being teased with cupcakes, everyone embraced STAINS, and he became a breakout star.

2009 was a big year for STAINS (and no, his humans didn’t capitalize his name like that. I did that so his name could match his capitalized eyes). STAINS became an instant meme, and The Soup, where I discovered him, made him their Entertainer of the Year. STAINS is most likely in heaven now, and yes, heaven is definitely a giant plate of all the cupcakes he can eat. The original post is after the cut.

Original HSOTD post from January 24, 2009:

Stains from It’s Me or the Dog – On The Soup last night, they made the crazy-eyed Stains a STAR! I would do the same shit with my eyes if someone put a plate of delicious cupcakes in front of me and told me not to eat them. Seriously, I think Stains was using his eyes powers to kill all the hos in the room so that he could be alone with that big plate of heaven. Or maybe he was devouring that shit with his eyes.

This is living thing abuse!!!! You don’t big a plate of cupcakes in front of a bitch and tell them not to eat one. Cruel! Clip below:

Pic: YouTube