Happy Fourth Of July From America’s Most Elegant And Gorgeous Citizen!

July 4, 2017 / Posted by:

Anybody who has ever read the Declaration of Independence knows of this highly important passage:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of flashing your ass cheeks on the ho stroll for some quick pap attention.

And 241 years after our founding fathers approved that message, here is human sparkler Phoebe Price making them proud by flashing her ass cheeks on the ho stroll for some quick pap attention.

Whenever any holiday rolls around, I tell myself that I can’t fully start celebrating it until my eyes have been covered with gorgeous pictures of Chicken Cutlets flashing her farm fresh poultry parts in a themed photo shoot for the paps. For this Fourth of July, PP once again proved that she’s the hardest-working American of all-time by doing not one, not two, but three patriotic photo-ops for the paps. She did one at the park with her dog Henry Price, one at the beach (see: her filling the Malibu air with clouds of pure grace while spreading her chicken wings wide) and third at a gas station. PP is so dedicated to giving us the people a serving of beauty and gentility that she took a dangerous risk by posing at a gas station. That entire station could’ve gone up in flames from the gas being exposed to the ginger rays of pure hotness that shoot off of PP.

And if you stop at a gas station today while driving back from your Fourth of July celebrations, make sure to pull down your bottoms and flash those nalgitas as a tribute to this great American ginger hero!

Pics: Wenn.com, Backgrid

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