Most people in Hollywood either defend alleged child raping tape worm Woody Allen (see: Woody Allen’s forever homegirl Diane Keaton) or brush off the allegations as “shit you read in the Weekly World News next to a story about how Ted Cruz is really Bat Boy in a melting Dick Tracy mask” (see: dried drool stain Kristen Stewart), but Susan Sarandon is not most people. Susan shit on Woody Allen again. And I know, using “Ted Cruz is really Bat Boy” as an example of a crazy rumor doesn’t work, because that’s probably 100% fact.

When Dylan Farrow accused Woody Allen of sexually abusing her as a child in an open letter to the world, Susan said in an interview with The Daily Beast that she had “issues” with him because of his creepy ways. And at a Cannes Film Festival event yesterday, Susan continued to spit at Woody. During the Kering Women in Motion Talk, which focused on the 25th anniversary of Thelma and Louise, Susan was asked what she thought about Woody Allen swatting away Ronan Farrow’s op-ed piece. Susan kept her thoughts to herself at first, but eventually said what no other actor in the game will dare to say. via The Guardian

Sarandon at first appeared to shut it down: “I have nothing good to say about Woody Allen, so I don’t think we should go there.”

Pressed to elaborate, Sarandon said: “I think he sexually assaulted a child and I don’t think that’s right … It’s gotten very quiet in here, but that’s true.”

Susan went there, but she should’ve went all the way there. She should’ve pulled her hair back, asked Geena Davis to hold her piss yellow pearl necklace (Side note: That Chlamydia pearl necklace needs to visit the free clinic.) and gone totally in. You can’t say, “I have nothing good to say about Woody  Allen,” and then not say it all. We all want to hear every word of it. Susan was at the Cafe Society premiere, so she should’ve said it then to Woody’s face. There’s still time, Susan. Make that turtle retreat back into his shell! Throw salt on that sail! Get that trick, Susan!

And here’s more of Thelma and Louise at yesterday’s panel:

Pics: Wenn.com

“Oi, why is your assistant standing over in front of an airport limo with my name on it holding a gift bag and my luggage? Crap, I think I remember reading something about this in the chapter on termination in my famous person’s girlfriend welcome manual.”

According to The Sun (via Page Six), Henry Cavill’s nine month long relationship with a 19-year-old British college student named Tara King is over. Congratulations, everyone who gets damp for Henry Cavill, you can go back to catcalling him in public again! Sources say that Henry dumped her. Apparently she’s “devastated” because Henry was “the love of her life.” If it makes her feel any better, I’m sure there’s a whole bunch of aspiring famous person girlfriends who are just as devastated. I mean, he took her to an Oscar afterparty; does that mean nothing anymore?

Said sources also claim that Henry’s breakup included the classic “…but we can totally still be friends.” Apparently that meant that Tara was still allowed to come to Henry’s 33rd birthday party at the beginning of the month. Inviting the teenage girl you just dumped to your birthday party? That’s definitely not a recipe for an awkward dramatic night. I wonder how many sloppy drunk locked-bathroom door screaming fights happened every time she caught him talking to another just-legal blonde.

I wouldn’t cry for Tara just yet. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Henry Cavill receives a text from Ben Affleck saying: “Hey, so is it cool if I get her number? I’m trying to fix shit with my wife, but you know – in case that doesn’t work out.” And I say, go for it, Tara! Get that Lexus. Reach for the famous person girlfriend stars.

Pic: Wenn.com

As earrings go, it’s surprisingly comfortable, but it keeps telling her to eat from the tree of knowledge. – I am Legend

Upvote winner:

The matching necklace is a choker – daisy100

Pic: Break

The Calico cat in the white collar who surprised us all!

So, here I was thinking that cats were all in cahoots with each other and planning to one day work together to completely take over the planet and become our new overlords. I knew it was coming, but this video has thrown a complete PLOT TWIST into everything I thought was true. I don’t know where or when this video was shot, but I do know that it was uploaded to YouTube just a few days ago. In this history-making-video, a dog starts to sniff at the ginger pussy in the background. The ginger pussy swats at the dog, which isn’t surprising, but what happens next may make you question everything you knew to be true.

After the ginger pussy swats at the dog, the dog jumps back and at that moment, you may be thinking that the Calico pussy is going to slap at that pooch while they pooch is down… But the Calico cat comes at the ginger pussy and beats at that bitch before the riveting scene cuts out. What does it all mean?! A cat coming for another cat to protect a dog? Hmmmm… I have a feeling that the Calico cat is a double agent and it only went for the ginger pussy to throw the dog off. The Calico cat has probably earned the dog’s trust and is going to use that to get in on the inside and take the canine community down!

That must be it, because why oh why would a pussy turn on another pussy. And a ginger pussy nonetheless! (Either that or the ginger one stole the Calico one’s man and the Calico cat has just been looking for a reason to whoop a trick.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vI6Cjjxoix4&feature=player_embedded

via Tastefully Offensive

Janet Jackson (50)
Joey Graceffa (25)
Ashley Wagner (25)
Thomas Brodie-Sangster (26)
Behati Prinsloo (27)
Megan Fox (30)
Joseph Morgan (35)
Jim Sturgess (38)
Melanie Lynskey (39)
Jason “Wee-Man” Acuna (43)
Tori Spelling (43)
Khary Payton (44)
Bill Rancic (45)
David Boreanaz (47)
Tracey Gold (47)
Tucker Carlson (47)
Danielle Spencer (47)
Sommore (50)
Krist Novoselic (51)
Mare Winningham (57)
Debra Winger (61)
Pierce Brosnan (63)
Christian Lacroix (65)
Judy Finnigan (68)
Danny Trejo (72)

Pic: BlackGlama

Thank god Cannes exists, otherwise we wouldn’t get our yearly dose of hair sprayed glamour, Elena Lenina. Or is it the other way around? Does Cannes only exist because Elena exists? Woah. Heavy thoughts for a Sunday. Elena so far has been to three premieres at this year’s festival, but let’s hold hands and pray she goes to more.

Elena is known all around the world (right?) for her dedication to the art of hair manipulation. She’s deep, so it’s not just for vanity and style. There’s usual some sexual undertones to it all. Like her efforts to raise awareness of prostate cancer with this and this. The above look is the one that strikes me as the most controversial and envelope pushing of the three looks this year. If I’m interpreting it correctly, and I think I am, this is some sort of message about gender rolls and perceived notions of masculine and feminine. What else would those mozzarella stick dicks on her head be saying? How Blake Lively can even dare to think she can walk the same carpets as Elena is beyond me. Take note ladies, this is what a real STAR looks like!

Pics: Wenn