The Unholy Union Between Anna Wintour And The Kartrashians Lives On!
As expected, nepotism’s current pride and joy Kendall Jenner graced the cover of Vogue’s biggest issue of the year, the September issue, with her “comatose deer caught in broken headlights” eyes. This is the second time (third if you count that special “millennial” issue) that a member of Pimp Mama Kris’ koven has been on the cover of American Vogue. So I think that’s the men in white coats’ cue to pry Anna Wintour’s tongue out of the Kardashians’ asshole and drag her into a padded room. The room’s padding will be provided by Chanel, of course.
I know this joke has been made a million times (“That’s never stopped you before, bitch” – you), but Vogue should really change its name to Vague, as in I “vaguely” remember when it was a fashion bible and not a fame whore bible.
Hugh Grant’s Secret To A Good Marriage? Cheating
I’ve been to a couple wedding showers, and one thing that happened at all of them was a book would get passed around that you were supposed to write advice for a happy marriage to the bride and groom. My advice was always “Don’t judge them too harshly if you catch them eating Doritos on the toilet“, because really, nobody should be made to feel guilty for that kind of a choice. If Hugh Grant were at those same wedding showers, I know what advice he’d write down. “Put your penis in whomever you want.”
Taylor Kinney Really Wants To Get Back Together With Lady Gaga
Last month, people started whispering that the romance between Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney had gone bad (almost as bad as that joke). Not too long after, Gaga tapped the metaphorical mic and announced that it wasn’t bad, just stale enough to be taking a break. Gaga explained she didn’t know what was going to happen to them, but that she believed they were soulmates and hoped they could work it out. Taylor, on the other hand, appears to be a whole lot less que sera, sera about the whole thing.
Pro Tip: Don’t Kick A Producer On Your TV Show Unless You Want To Get Suspended
Criminal Minds is going to go on forever, because the world will always have moms in it, and our moms will always need a show to have on in the background as they spend 45 minutes trying to unwrap a butterscotch candy. My mom is going to get me for that one. She doesn’t watch Criminal Minds! It comes on as the same time as Castle re-runs on TNT, so she watches that while unwrapping a sugar-free butterscotch candy, thankyouverymuch. But that’s besides the point. The point is that new episodes of Criminal Minds will play on TV screens until the end of time and Thomas Gibson, also from Dharma & Greg and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, had a sure thing going until he screwed it up by allegedly kicking a producer. Oh, that ThoMESS Gibson stays messy.
Blabbing About Mel Gibson Just Lost Oksana Grigorieva A Whole Bunch Of Money
This is the second time in 2016 that we’re talking about Mel Gibson’s gold digger baby mama Oksana Grigorieva. I don’t know what kind of backwards mistake rotation the earth made on New Year’s Eve to cause so many fame whores of the past to get attention in the present.
The last time we talked about Oksana and the horny human catcher’s mitt known as Mel, she asked him to increase his monthly child support payments for their 6-year-old daughter Lucia from $20,000 to over $100,000. Oksana’s really going to be crossing her fingers and praying hard to Saint Sugartits for that child support increase now, because TMZ says an appearance on Howard Stern back in 2013 cost her half a million dollars.
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For August 10th!
It took a while, but I think we finally nailed a way to combine the survivor and cooking shows fads. – FoxRox
Upvote winner:
MMMMM Redneck soup with Crackers. – Roni Sullivan
Pic: Break