Koda, the fire department dog who opened the door for a locked-out firefighter!

Meet Koda, a golden retriever who works as a fire safety training dog with the Georgetown Texas Fire Department. But when Koda isn’t helping out with fire safety training, she’s putting on her Captain Save-A-Locked-Out-Ho fire hat to help a fellow fire professional in need. Koda is the star of a viral video of her opening the door for a firefighter who got locked out. Who the hell needs a smart lock when you’ve got an adorable pile of helpfulness to let you in?

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Two things: 1. Andrew Garfield is turning 40 years old next year. 2. Andrew tells British GQ that he’s felt pressure to make babies before turning 40, but he’s since let that shit go. Listen, if anybody ever sniffs on Millennial Spider-Man’s huevos while wondering when he’s going to finally bust out a baby-making nut, he just needs to tell them, “Nick Cannon is making enough children for ALL men right now, so chill.” – Jezebel

Behold, Jennifer Grey as Lifetime’s version of Gwen Shamblin. At least they tell me that Jennifer Grey is supposed to be Gwen Shamblin. I mean, the wig is all wrong. It doesn’t look like a giant nest that a family of rabid rats sloppily threw together using electrocuted yellow Easter basket straw and dehydrated hay. Try again, Lifetime and Jennifer! – SOW

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Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have been together since 2011, when they co-starred in the movie The Place Beyond the Pines. They have two daughters: Esmerelda, 8, and Amada, 6. For a celebrity couple, these two have kept their relationship pretty private. Back in 2016, rumors swirled that they got secret-married, and last year, Eva was papped wearing a ring on her marriage finger. But they’ve never confirmed or denied the gossip. Well, let’s see if they keep mum this time: Page Six reports that 48-year-old Eva’s wrist tattoo may be proof that she and 42-year-old Ryan are officially husband and wife. Eva took to Instagram to show off the ink, which spells out “de gosling.” Translated from Spanish: “of gosling.” Either Eva belongs to a baby goose, or she and Ryan are maybe/possibly hitched! Continue reading

I could make a girthy Excel spreadsheet of the people in Hollywood who deserve to have all of the bad things in life happen to them–grouped by offense–but Christina Applegate wouldn’t even make the seventeenth worksheet. However, she’s been dealt a pretty bad hand these past few years, first having to battle cancer and now adapting to her new normal of day-to-day life with the debilitating fuck-face of a disease, multiple sclerosis. But, November seems to be panning out to be a pretty banner month for Christina. The third and final season of her hit Netflix show, Dead To Me, premieres this week after she had to fight like hell to finish filming it due to her physical limitations, and she made her first emotional public appearance since her diagnosis to receive her well-deserved star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

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Colin Mitchell, the UPS driver whose hotness was sextupled when we all found out that he saved two dogs from possible drowning while delivering packages, has won September’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown and will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals. And in October’s HSOTM battle royale, we’ve got another human hero to animalkind who will try to repeat Colin Mitchell’s win for pet saviors. As usual, the first three choices for this month’s HSOTM contest got the most Facebook likes, and the fourth was picked by me. Your choices for October are:

Ariel Elias, the stand-up comedian who brilliantly handled two annoying hecklers who were more of a pain in the ass than a burst hemorrhoid, and kept asking her if she voted for Biden in the last POTUS election. Eventually, Ariel’s comebacks pissed off the hecklers, and one threw a beer at her, which she picked up and guzzled down since nothing quenches the thirst like MAGA tears.

747, the current reigning champion of 2022 Fat Bear Week who gained many more fans by gaining hundreds of pounds in chunk for hibernation season. And while many were impressed by 747 gaining hundreds of pounds of chunk, some of us will be saying, “pfft, amateur,” to him next week after gaining hundreds of pounds of chunk in one Thanksgiving afternoon.

PeeWee, the mixed bull terrier who is deaf and won a million hearts thanks to the videos of him responding to his human’s sign language commands.

Michael Ross, the Colin Mitchell of Florida who isn’t a UPS driver but did save a furry friend from being devoured by water. During Hurricane Ian, Colin went into the rising waters to rescue a cat clinging to an A/C unit. If these dudes keep saving animals (which I hope they do), my doctor is going to be really confused at my next check-up. “Hmmm, your heart seems to be beating this time. It never does that!”

Voting is below. October’s HSOTM will be crowned in this space and in Crumbs on Tuesday, November 22!

UPDATE: Another savior to animals takes the win because Michael Ross is our new HSOTM after getting almost 36% of the votes. Thanks to all who voted!

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