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Open Post: Hosted By A Vulture Landing On A Paraglider’s Selfie Stick
Nowadays, if a vulture (famous scavenger birds known for showing up when something is dead, or about to die) came within ten feet of me, I’d probably just shrug and accept it…because, I mean, look at the state of the planet. And it seems like I’m not alone. Apparently, a couple of paragliders barely flinched when a massive vulture landed on their selfie-stick, mid-flight. Never mind the massive, dinosaur-looking fuck of a bird flying up beside me, but to be able to manage your cool while soaring thousands of feet in the air? There are so many questions that go with this clip.
Kirstie Alley Declares That She’s Voting For Trump Again, And Gets Dragged For It
Kirstie Alley has been trending on Twitter since yesterday, and in the year 2020, the only reason for Kirstie Alley to trend is because she brought the messiness on Twitter again. Yesterday, the actress turned reality TV wreck turned professional Twitter nutjob decided to come out on Twitter and confirm what anybody who actually thinks about Kirstie Alley already knew, which is that she will be voting for Trump 2020. Yes, MAGA’s celebrity wing is just busting out with more A-list star power.
Zachery Ty Bryan From “Home Improvement” Got Arrested For Domestic Assault
There’s nothing more sobering than being a full-grown adult and finding out that the fifth-billed star of one of the TV shows you grew up watching is now sitting in the clink for being an alleged woman-beater. That’s right, the kid from “Home Improvement”, no, not Jonathan Taylor Thomas––we will never stop looking for him––the older one…Zachery Ty Bryan, was picked up by Oregon PD this weekend for attempting to strangle his girlfriend. Taran Noah Smith would NEVER! (Also, what the fuck with those try-hard 1990s Tiger Beat names?)
Open Post: Hosted By The Unofficial Megan Thee Stallion “Savage” Remix, Featuring Alex Trebek
Alex Trebek is a legend. And, after 94 years as the host of Jeopardy!, he’s also shown himself to be a bit of a savage. And Alex further cemented that reputation when one of the clues from Thursday’s episode included the lyrics to Megan Thee Stallion’s Savage. Alex coolly and calmly read out the lyrics in that mild, deadpan Canadian tone––he even gave a look of “bitch, please” to the contestant who fumbled the answer. But now, some creative genius has interpolated Alex’s “rapping” with the original music and released a surefire Grammy winner.
Sam Smith Got Kicked Off A Dating App For Looking Too Much Like Sam Smith
Since I have a great respect for both my time and my ears, I don’t listen to Sam Smith. But it’s mostly because the only thing I think of when I see their face is the time they won an Oscar for singing some James Bond theme song, hopped up onto the stage, and proclaimed to be the first gay person to win the award (despite that being so unbelievably not true). So, needless to say, when Sam Smith makes a proclamation that doesn’t come with a CVS-length roll of receipts, I tend to be a little skeptical. But anyway…Sam says that they recently got kicked off of a dating app––and not for allegedly fat-shaming his matches or making sweeping statements about how much Michael Jackson sucks. This reason was much more believable.
Chaka Khan On Working With Ariana Grande (Again): “She’s Good On Her Own”
It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper musical icon tell us exactly how it is by smacking down the hopes and dreams of young pop stars everywhere. The one and only Chaka Khan––10x Grammy winner, perennial Rock & Roll Hall of Fame nominee, funk/soul legend––has been DOING IT for years. She’s seen it all, she’s heard it all. So, by now, the 67-year-old is comfortable enough settling into a routine that does not involve collaborating with any new hot young things. Luckily for us, she’s not afraid to say so. And while the tension over this latest “exchange” between Chaka and Ariana Grande is not quite at the level of Aretha vs. Patti, or Mariah vs. J.Lo, or Dionne vs. Beyonce (yet), it’s still delicious and thick enough to drizzle over pancakes.