I remember back in the 90’s when NBA superstar Dennis Rodman was always in the news doing crazy shit. Not much has changed, especially with his frequent trips to North Korea, while the rest of us are content with looking at pictures on the internet. Well, now he wants to take a buddy with him on his next excursion and that buddy is none other than Good Morning America host and former NFL player, Michael Strahan.
You know you’re so goddamn happy to be done with someone when you’re willing to kiss them. That’s true hate, right there. So today was Michael Strahan’s last day on Live! With Kelly and Michael before he moves on to GMA, and shockingly enough the show didn’t end with Kelly Ripa grabbing a mic and screaming “HIT IT, GELMAN!” before launching into a high-energy karaoke version of NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye.” It did, however, end with Michael being played off like his Oscar speech was running on too long.
Today is the second-to-last day that Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan have to sit next to each other on Live! and pretend that they don’t completely despise each other with every fiber of their being. Michael’s last day as the Michael of Live! With Kelly and Michael is technically tomorrow, but Kelly was clearly too excited and decided to celebrate his final show a little early. Kelly took a page from her own Stunt Queen 101 book and celebrated by leaving house wearing a jacket with the word “Freedom” written across the back.
— Page Six (@PageSix) May 12, 2016
Hmmm…whatever could Kelly Ripa’s “Freedom” jacket mean? The message is just too subtle. Maybe tomorrow morning she’ll make it just a teensy bit more obvious by dancing out of her house to Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” while wearing a t-shirt that says “ADIOS, GAPPY!” in huge glitter letters.
As for what will happen on Michael’s last day, TMZ says that it will be pretty low-key. They’re basically doing a clip show of his 4 years as co-host, and the guests will be Carmelo Anthony and Matt Bomer. But if it ends up being half as awkward as today’s show was, then I’d say now is the time to plan on calling in sick so you can stay at home and watch the trainwreck in real time.
According to E!, Kelly and Michael really brought the restrained hate this morning. After noticing a woman in the audience wearing a graduation cap, they asked what she graduated from. She told them she had just gotten a degree in Journalism and Media Studies, to which Kelly joked “Perfect! Just in the nick of time.” Michael, who clearly does not give a fuck anymore, added “Don’t let this show scare you away from your dreams.”
Oh boy, who even knows what kind of messy stops they’ll pull out for Michael’s last day. I know they won’t, but what I’d really like to see is Kelly and Michael doing a Mystery Science Theater 3000 thing where they talk about how much they secretly hated each other while watching Michael’s montage. “Oh my god, I remember that day! I tripped on my way out and you laughed. You know what? I’m really really not going to miss you.”
It’s been three weeks since Kelly Ripa hauled Michael Strahan and the powers that be at Disney into a metaphorical parking lot and got into a dramatic morning show fight over Michael’s exit from Live! With Kelly and Michael. In that time, a whole lot has happened. Kelly took a break, then Kelly came back and gave a “For Your Consideration“-worthy Emmy nomination speech about respect in the workplace. I thought Kelly’s speechwriter crammed in everything she had to say that day, but apparently she has more thoughts on the matter.
I stopped watching Live! right after Kathie Lee Gifford left, because I prefer my morning talk shows hosts crazier and drunker than a fly in a Red Solo cup full of Diet Coke and rum. But it may be worth watching again to witness Kelly Ripa get revenge on Michael Strahan and ABC by slowly chipping away at their nerves with a freshly sharpened shiv.
Michael was supposed to leave Live! for his new higher-paying gig at Good Morning America in September, but his “Bye, Bitch!” date was moved up to May 13 after Kelly got seriously pissed over everyone keeping her in the dark about his exit. When Kelly made her triumphant return to Live! on Tuesday, she said that she was happy for Michael and he said that he loves her, but she still threw him the same awkward and cold look I throw at a server at a restaurant whenever they tell me they haven’t gotten their liquor license yet. Things apparently went fine on Tuesday and Wednesday’s shows, but on Thursday’s episode, Kelly finally stopped giving a fuck and threw in a dig.
Shortly after Michael Strahan announced that he was taking the Michael out of Live! with Kelly and Michael and taking it over to Good Morning America, there were whispers that ABC had already drafted up a short list of replacements for him. Two names that were being thrown around were Anderson Cooper and Neil Patrick Harris, because I guess ABC was really feeling the idea of replacing Michael with a blue-eyed gay dreamboat.
But it sounds like ABC might want to think about throwing some lady names on that list too, because there could be a chance they’ll be replacing Kelly Ripa as well. A source tells UsWeekly that Kelly really wants Michael to be replaced by either Anderson Cooper (whose book she was not-so-subtly seen carrying around yesterday) or Andy Cohen. The source claims that if ABC doesn’t hire one Kelly’s choices to sit beside her, she’s thinking about leaving. And not in the “Bye bitches, see you in a couple days” way either. According to said source, Kelly is still a little pissed about the way things were handled with Michael that she’s ready to put in her permanent walking papers unless she gets her way. But wait, Kelly told us yesterday that everything is fine! I just don’t know what to believe anymore.
Kelly isn’t exactly reaching for a box to pack up her things just yet. ABC is still deciding who they want. They’re also apparently adding more names to the list. According to UsWeekly, they’re also considering Jerry O’Connell. But it doesn’t look good for Kelly. Anderson is currently busy covering the election, and Andy is under contract with Bravo for Watch What Happens Live. I guess if Kelly does end up quitting, that would give Disney a good excuse to pull the plug on Live! and give GMA that third hour they’ve been rumored to be looking at. Hmmm…how convenient for you, Disney.
I understand wanting to work with your friends, but this is all a tad dramatic. Would it honestly be so unbearable to make morning show small talk with Neil Patrick Harris while your bank account gets stuffed with millions of dollars? Hell, if the price was right, I’m sure NPH would throw a little silver in his hair if that’s what will do it for Kelly.