Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have emerged as the Ross and Rachel of Hollywood, and all of us are over here sitting on the side tables at Central Perk wondering how in HAIL is this they’re-getting-back-together/no-they-aren’t story going to end. Here’s how: Brad is going to be up the altar getting married to Sienna Miller, George Clooney, his sculptures, or some other valued treasure, and say Angelina’s name. Even then, it’s going to take another six seasons and twelve additions to the child army before they start bumping uglies again. GAH!
The L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services was mainly looking at Brad Pitt’s alleged drunken meltdown on a plane and his side tried to convince everyone that it was a one-time thing, but after talking to the kids and Angelina Jolie, DCFS has reportedly opened up their investigation and are now passing their magnifying glasses over other incidents that may have gone down. Yup, this mess got messier…
It’s been more than a month since Angelina Jolie (or “That Fucking Lunatic” as she’s known in Chelsea Handler’s house) filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. And since then, Jennifer Aniston has been dragged into the conversation, of course. Two of those times were courtesy of Jennifer’s friends announcing to the world that we should keep her out of it. Another friend has come forward with their thoughts on it all. Sadly, it’s not Marcel the Monkey.
From where shall I get all of my celebrity signed off on rosé wine now? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are deep in the throes of drama-free (*chuckle*) divorcing and the next piece of their previous life together to go will be their $60 million dollar estate and vineyard in Correns, France. UsWeekly is reporting that Brad and Angie have put Château Miraval up for sale. I like to drink wine. Does anyone have $60 million on them?
It’s been almost a month since the news broke that Angelina Jolie didn’t want to be married to Brad Pitt anymore. But a former employee of theirs decided to take us on a stroll down memory lane with some stories from when they were still together. One of Brangelina’s former bodyguards, Mark “Billy” Billingham, the guy seen holding Zahara Jolie-Pitt recently spoke to The Sun about the good ol’ Brangelina days.
Seen above giving off terrifying “Heeeeere’s Jimmy!” vibes in 2004, James Haven has reportedly been helping his sister Angelina Jolie with her 6 children as she deals with divorcing Brad Pitt. Uncle Stains is apparently at Angie’s rental house in Malibu every single day. The windows of that Malibu house must reach the edge of shattering when all 6 kids simultaneously scream, “Mom! Uncle! Gross,” after seeing Angie and James sloppily suck face.